So that was it. Season 2 of Empire is a wrap! For me the finale was equal parts DAAAAMN and…meh. In Act 2, Scene 1 of William Shakespeare’s The Tempest, Antonio says “What’s past is prologue,” suggesting that all that has happened in the past has lead him and Sebastian to what they’re about to do, and that is to commit murder. So I have to wonder, if I’m to operate under that understanding of the meaning behind Empire’s season finale, titled, “Past is Prologue,” then who got murdered? Let me take a step back. Some questions got answered on the final episode of Fox’s hit show, but some questions led to MORE QUESTIONS! Like did Jamal die as a result of getting shot coupled with Jussie Smollett’s cryptic tweet? No. Turns out the Tweet was a media ploy to keep my nosy ass engaged. Not gonna lie, it worked. Cookie rolled Jamal back home in a wheelchair where the Lyon clan was waiting and the angels in my head were singing, or maybe that was just V. Bozeman. Did Hakeem and Laura say their “I Do’s” in front of the eyes of God and Andre (who’s ordained now)? Nope. Laura’s parents tried to put the smack down on the Lyons barring any hood shit at their baby girl’s wedding — but c’mon — she is marrying the son of someone who put out songs titled “Boom Boom Boom Boom,” and “Snitch Ass Bitch” sooo…yeah. Some hood shit did go down at the wedding and Laura and her parents were having none of it. Laura left Hakeem at the altar. Did Cookie and Lucious end up boo’d up when it was all said and done? That would be a resounding NOPE. First of all, they break up more than Tyga and Kiley, and secondly that leads me to one of the episode’s major plots.
Lucious reveals the real reason Tariq the freak (that will never get old) is hot on his trail. While Cookie was locked up he worked as a hit man. And Tariq, who we find out is Lucious’ half brother (why?), is now onto him and his accomplice, Shine — a washed up one-time rapper played by Xzibit (not a far stretch). Anika reveals that she’s been brought in for questioning. So the plan is to keep her safe and secure until the trial starts — and aside from just a little minor incident where she tries to LEAP TO HER DEATH rather than testify — they manage to keep Anika out of harm’s way, that is until a punk ass service worker disguised as a waiter serves Anika at the wedding! That causes a melee (hence the hood shit I spoke about earlier). It’s decided that invoking spousal privilege is the only way to keep Anika from dropping a dime on Lucious and so they’ve got the location, the music, the red dress and Andre – why not have a wedding? Cookie, who was this close to giving up her “cookie” to Lucious, can’t handle it and leaves. Anika will finally be the wife and Muva Lyon after all…or will she? So who knew Rhonda was a straight G?! Early in the episode she tries to put a reality show style beat down on Anika but the family intervenes. Rhonda reveals to them that she remembered seeing Anika’s shoes, but no one believes her — not even Andre. Rhonda wasn’t letting up. Later, after the nuptials and after Lucious whispered to Anika that he believed now that she pushed Rhonda, Anika needs a moment to gather herself and steps out onto a terrace. Rhonda emerges from the shadows with some overdue whoop ass for Anika, pregnant or not. That’s when Anika admits that she DID push Rhonda down the stairs! Andre comes out just in time to witness a murder. BUT WHOSE? So is someone going to take a fall at the end of every Empire season finale? Because, no. I don’t want that. Do I want to know more about Lucious’ family secrets next season? I guess. And finally, I want my money back for not getting my promised Common and Oprah fix. But all in all, in the words of the great Maximus from Gladiator: Are you not entertained? And to that I say yes, Empire. Yes I am (slow claps).