Okay, so remember what I said last week about loving romantic comedies? Well, there are a few things I don't love about them. Namely, the fact that every plot point is telegraphed five to 10 scenes ahead of time like signs on the Garden State Parkway (this joke works very well if you're from New Jersey, I promise; it's got some of the best signage of any highway I've ever driven on). Rom-coms most definitely lack the subtlety of your Mad Mens and your Honorable Womans. Even if a romantic comedy has managed to err on the side of less conventional plot devices so far, all of that work apparently goes out the window when a character is pregnant and is about to give birth. This is, of course, what happened on this week's episode of The Mindy Project. Mindy (Mindy Kaling) has reached the end of her pregnancy, which she plans to conclude with a C-section. Danny (Chris Messina) isn't on board with this plan; he thinks babies should enter the world via natural childbirth. Even though they had nine months to discuss their difference of opinion on the subject, it apparently didn't come up. I find this somewhat weird for two people who deliver babies for a living. Mindy and Danny instead spent most of their son's gestation period arguing over whether or not to get married and what to name their baby (Indiana and O. J. are a nope). Here's something else I find very weird, considering that we're dealing with two people whose profession involves them interacting with, dispensing advice to, and generally being knowledge about pregnant women. Danny doesn't want Mindy to have her scheduled C-section, so he wants to figure out a plan that will cause her to go into labor earlier. Now, isn't this something an OB/GYN should know? Hell, it's something I know (eat spicy foods, give her a massage, have sex), not because I've been in labor, but because it's been a sitcom plot oh, every time a character has been pregnant in the history of every show ever. I'm looking specifically at you, Friends (1994-2004) and Mad About You (1992-1999). Now, Danny probably doesn't watch sitcoms that do mad-cap induce-labor plotlines. However, praytell, Danny Castellano, do you know how to Google? I just typed "how to induce labor" into the search bar in Chrome and received roughly 3,460,000 results. This is television, though, and I'll concede that watching someone Google things just doesn’t make an interesting episode. Therefore, to the midwives Danny goes! He consults Brendan (Mark Duplass), who provides him with the exact same suggestions that I mentioned above, in addition to a copy of the book he's going to promote (Paleo Birth: Stone Age Healthcare Is Finally Here) at the same fertility fair as Mindy and Morgan (Ike Barinholtz). Mindy doesn't automatically recognize what Danny's trying to do (even when he initiates sex, something he hasn't wanted to have out of fear of upsetting the fetus), which again makes me wonder if Mindy and Danny are good OB/GYNs. She then finds the book, yadda yadda yadda, she's mad at Danny as per usual. Of course, the second Mindy, Morgan, and Tamra (Xosha Roquemore) get on the subway to the Manhattan Fertility Expo, you just know the baby is on its way. Again with the blatant telegraphing moments. Of course the midwives are there, too, so you just know Mindy's water is going to break. What a coincidence that they're all going to the same fertility expo that might cause them to take the same mode of transport, and possibly get stuck at the most inconvenient time for a pregnant woman about to go into labor. The New York City subway might not reliably get you to work or fertility expos on time, but it does malfunction, get delayed due to train traffic, police investigations, sick passengers, and more. Pro tip: If you're ever late for anything in NYC, blame the subway. Even better pro tip: If you're nine-plus months pregnant, spring for an Uber. Now, Mindy's trapped underground on the subway, the last place anyone would want to give birth. I really dislike this whole plotline. They wouldn't take the subway to the fertility expo, not with everything they had to carry to their booth, and the fact that Mindy is more than nine months pregnant. It's ridiculous, unbelievable, and way too much of a cheesy sitcom setup beyond the realm of plausibility. It takes Jeremy (Ed Weeks) finally telling Danny that Mindy is having a C-section because she's terrified, for Danny to realize that he's been cruel and unsupportive. (Poor Jeremy, who I often forget is still on this show, because he's forever relegated to the C-story.) Is that always going to be how the stories on The Mindy Project go? Danny doesn't understand why Mindy is acting a certain way, and then someone will point it out to him, and they'll make up? It's weird how his future spouse came with a road map that only other people seem to have, no?
Anyway, Danny makes a valiant run through the subway tunnels and finds the exact car Mindy is in (he managed to get a text message from Morgan saying they were stuck on the 2 train near Penn Station, but the service is very spotty when you're underground there...I know; I'm being a picky NYC-dwelling elitist at this point). Baby Leo Castellano — "Like Leonardo DiCaprio?" "No, da Vinci." — is born happy and healthy. Mindy and Danny agree that he's very handsome. Welcome to the world, little Leo. I wish you had been born in the back of an Uber.