Man Fired After Skipping Work For Basically Ever

Photo: Image Source/REX USA.
Your hooky game might be on fleek since you rewatched Ferris Bueller over the holidays, but you have got absolutely, literally nothing on this man who just raised the bar and inspired a new generation to take the virtues of extended naptime more seriously.
One Shri A.K. Verma recently was caught midway through the ultimate long con when his employer, the Central Public Works Department of India (note the incredibly '90s website), discovered he had not in fact reported for duty in 24 years. It's not clear at this time whether he was not coming in for a legitimate and unfortunate reason such as a medical disability or family emergency, or simply the more common "I don't want to" syndrome. But, in the interest of positivity and joy, let's take this lack of information as an opportunity to make him into a folk hero. Not the hero we need, perhaps, but the hero we deserve.
According to a press release that has delighted several American Internet people, the honorable Mr. Verma "joined CPWD as an Assistant Executive Engineer in 1980, went on Earned Leave in December, 1990, and did not report to work thereafter." He sought an extension of leave; it was not granted. There was an inquiry; it was delayed. Finally, he was fired. Such is the sad history of a man who dared to dream.
Currently, sources tell us Mr. Verma is planning a motivational-speaking tour with George Costanza. We will update you when tickets become available (but just beware, he might not show up and you will not be granted a refund).

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