Joaquin Phoenix Is Engaged To His Yoga Instructor

UPDATE: Oh, never mind. In true Joaquin Phoenix form, this whole engagement story was just a little prank, he admitted on Good Morning America this morning.
"I think like my life’s so boring, and it seemed like something exciting to talk about, and I wanted the audience to like me," he told George Stephanopoulos. "They really like people getting married. ... I can get engaged again, if you like?"
Eh, don't bother. To be fair, we should have seen it coming. Remember that time he told Letterman he was becoming a rapper? Fool us once...
Ladies, forget all about that engagement chicken. If you want your partner to pop the question, there's only one thing to do: harness the hog.
In what just might be the most entertaining engagement story of all time, Joaquin Phoenix got down on the ground during his appearance on last night's Late Show with David Letterman. The Inherent Vice actor started off with a bit about how his yoga instructor had basically strapped him up and lifted his body during a particularly bizarre move called "harness the hog." We're not sure what's more thrilling: that he calls private parts "Julio Iglesias" and "goulash" or that said yoga instructor curbed his whining by telling him it was just "emotional back pain." This woman sounds awesome.
Apparently, all of this was just Phoenix's way of announcing his engagement. After that whole harness the hog business, he started dating his yoga instructor. He then proposed, she said yes, and if "everything works out," they'll be husband and wife. Or hog and harnesser. Whatever.

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