Canapés Über Alles: Martha Stewart Living‘s Punk Party Tips

Would you like to smash it up this Halloween? Party until you're too drunk to fuck? Have you asked your mommy if you can go out and kill tonight? Get ready to party harder than Danzig on grocery day, because Martha Stewart Living has some punk party tips.
Some of the tips would make Henry Rollins pop a gasket, but we would definitely snack on these tasty-looking spinach ricotta skulls arranged on an adorable cardboard coffin.
It's the comments that are really worth the click, though. Highlights include:
"All I wanted for my birthday was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi, and she wouldn't give it to me." (Whoever wrote this, please get in touch because we might be soulmates.)
"Anarchy in the backyard! PBR tall boys for everyone, middle finger cookies and right in the middle of cutting the cake, mom gets hit in the head with a half full water bottle thrown by the metal kid in the back no one remembers inviting."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Sorry, but the hand-screened artisanal fondant-covered cupcakes are WAY too punk and extreme for kids. I mean, seriously. One bite of those and before you know it they'll be squatting in an unheated warehouse and tying bandanas on their pitbulls. No mom wants to see her five-year-old with a back patch and a soft pack of Old Golds. I expect more responsibility from Martha Stewart than this."

More from News

R29 Original Series