This Ex-Boyfriend Kit Will Have You Wishing You Could Just Hug It Out

exbfbodPhoto: Courtesy of Her Royal Flyness.
Welcome to the age of the super vengeful, ex-significant others where ex-lovers take keys to cars, upload porn, and, play out full hitman missions. Well, at least that's what one luxe handbag designer believes.

Her Royal Flyness created the Ex-Boyfriend Kit, a teal handbag filled with everything necessary to "partake in a glamorous revenge mission." Inside, the company promises a surefire way to stay "fabulous," including a teal crowbar, teal leather gloves, teal bondage tape, teal rope, silver knuckles, and an injection kit of Amytal Sodium (truth serum), It's eerily brings to mind Kevin Spacey's introduction to his wife in
American Beauty
: "See the way the handle on those pruning shears matches her gardening clogs?" he asks. "That's not an accident." See the way the balaclava matches the crowbar and leather gloves? Not an accident, either; and neither is this product.

Granted that, yes, this might be an extravagant joke seeing that the sticker price (including shipping) come to $2,000, making revenge a luxury only the upperclass could afford, but commodifying domestic violence — joke or not — is not cool. For one, this is a weird, backhanded, and stereotypical slap to women, indicating that there is a market for psycho exes. Then, on top of it all, these are weapons that Her Royal Flyness itself warns might not be "legally sold in all countries and may require permits."
What happened to the days of, you know, letting go and moving on? Sure, a revenge story can get juices flowin', but violence — especially when it's handsomely packaged, feels gratuitous. Are we supposed to believe a woman wearing pretty driving gloves and sparkly silver knuckles is less intimidating? We're exposed to violence everyday, but hardly is it ever dainty, pretty, or wrapped in a pretty, color-coordinated handbag. Lani Devine, the brand's founder and designer, issued a statement stressing that anyone looking to purchase the bag would not actually receive it, and instead get a full refund, but is that just a superfluous bow on top of an already irksome package? It's what's on the inside that counts, right? Well, these insides aren't lookin' too pretty — teal, black, or white. (Fast.Co)

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