Kids These Days: Wild Belieber Maybe Chopped A Girl’s Hair Off

Okay, you guys. We're not sure if this is real. We may be getting punked here. But, we noticed a very crazy thing making the rounds at the water cooler today. Ultimate Belieber and prolific Internet user @cantbeliebit tweeted out the following message to her 190,000-plus followers:
Youths today! They're out of control! They're going around chopping each other's braids off, all in the name of some shiny-haired pop star! If this isn't the apocalypse, we don't know what is. And, if you think we're showing our age by being outraged, well, you're probably right. Today happens to be the day we all realized that yes, we are very, very old (because of this, of course). And no, we are not okay with the loud, disruptive behaviors of teenagers dubbed Beliebers. Nor are we okay with Bieber himself peeing into buckets whenever he sees fit (a spanking is in order). We're getting together a meeting of the official Refinery29 Hand-Wringing Committee (R29HWC) right away to discuss this matter.
Seriously, though, suspension? Doesn't this qualify as assault?

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