Before diving into the rest of the 4D with Demi Lovato episode, a deeply personal conversation with gender non-conforming writer and performer Alok Vaid-Menon, Lovato took time in the introduction to share their pronouns and what it's been like coming to this realization. “Over the past year-and-a-half, I’ve been doing some healing and self-reflective work. And through this work, I’ve had the revelation that I identify as non-binary. With that said, I’ll be officially changing my pronouns to they/them,” said Lovato. “I feel that this best represents the fluidity I feel in my gender expression and allows me to feel most authentic and true to the person I both know I am, and am still discovering.”
In 2018, Lovato went through a terrifying wake-up call when they overdosed, an experience they shared in their poignant YouTube docuseries, Demi Lovato: Dancing with the Devil. Now, Lovato has gained even more perspective on that time in their life. “I feel like the reason why that happened was because I was ignoring my truth, and I was suppressing who I really am in order to please stylists or team members or this or that,” they said. “Or even fans that wanted me to be the sexy, feminine pop star in the... leotard and look a certain way, you know?”
Lovato added that it would “mean the world” to them if others “could start identifying me as they/them,” before acknowledging that they understand if fans slip up and use the wrong pronoun. What means most to Lovato is others “making the effort” rather than getting it right every time. “I think it’s important because I want to use these pronouns that feel right to me,” Lovato continued. “I also just don’t want people to be so afraid of messing up that they don’t try to use them.” In March, Lovato opened up on another podcast, The Joe Rogan Experience, about being pansexual and feeling like they couldn’t express that side of themselves for the longest time.
“This has come after a lot of healing and self-reflective work,” Lovato tweeted alongside a video of their podcast. “I’m still learning and coming into myself, and I don’t claim to be an expert or a spokesperson. Sharing this with you now opens up another level of vulnerability for me.”