If you have "obsessive sexual passion," you're probably not fully satisfied with the sex you're having, according to science.
A recent series of studies conducted by researchers Frédérick Philippe, Robert Vallerand, and their colleagues found that being a little obsessed with sex may lead to being less satisfied in bed.
As Scientific American reports, the researchers defined "obsessive sexual passion" as having an urgent feeling of sex as a goal, thereby being compelled towards immediate gratification and narrower sexual goals. Doing so, researchers said, caused individuals' enjoyment of sex to decline.
Instead, the researchers touted a harmonious approach to sex rather than an obsessive one. You don't need to be completely passionless — passion is still important — but according to the studies, having a harmonious take on sex made people more likely to be happy with the sex that they were having.
Harmonious sexual passion, in this case, meant that people were able to incorporate sexuality into other parts of their lives. Participants who were seen to embody harmonious sexual passion showed greater control over their sexual desires, and had less sexually intrusive thoughts than their obsessive counterparts. All of this, the studies reported, led to higher overall relationship quality over time.
On the other hand, those who showcased obsessive sexual passion were more likely to show violence when confronted with romantic rejection, and interest in alternative partners and temporary relationships.
However, researchers noted, obsessive sexual passion is not the same thing as compulsive sexual impulse. And both obsessive sexual passion and harmonious passion were associated with the enjoyment of sex and sex-related activities, but the key to enjoying sex more might be to harness that passion in ways that bring more joy to all aspects of your life. (We know, easier said than done.)
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