Do you know how hard it is to rock up to a meeting 25 minutes late with eyebrows this carefully crafted? Yeah, erm, the tube was delayed guys, total nightmare. *Awkward straight smile*. And don’t even ask about what happens when it rains; I once lost an eyebrow to a power shower.
I love makeup. Everything about it. From buying it, to applying it, to how it makes me feel. I find it therapeutic. And I don’t feel like I’m covering up or masquerading as someone more exciting or badass but like I’m celebrating exactly who I am on the inside.
Like clothes, makeup is an immediate platform to show the world your creativity. And while for many women, using makeup is about the subtle enhancement of features and skin, I use it to be bold – to peacock!
The painter Lucian Freud reportedly hated cosmetics; he said nothing was as "attractive as an interesting mind." And I couldn't agree more – except I also believe that makeup can be used as a tool to depict the mind.
Look at Marc Jacobs' enigmatic goths last season (copying my swag but whatever), those Givenchy studded cheeks and nose rings; look at people like [makeup artist] Isamaya Ffrench changing the game. Makeup has evolved and it's not about looking pretty anymore; I'd much rather be memorable.
Granted, from time to time I get strange looks. Once, a guy approached me in Pret, said "You look like an alien", then walked off. I took great pleasure in this interaction.
Here's my guide to beauty, gone bad.
This article was first published June 15th 2016.