Warning: This recap contains major spoilers for season 6, episode 14 of Schitt’s Creek.
For the 13 episodes leading up to the Schitt’s Creek season 6 (and series) finale, I have been anticipating David and Patrick’s wedding in small, subtle ways like all-caps yelling, “CAN THEY GET MARRIED ALREADY?” I’ve been looking forward to it because I love a good TV wedding and handsome men in tuxes, but also because watching these two characters commit to each other in front of the community that has supported them unconditionally was always going to be the perfect way to end this series.
The documentary Best Wishes, Warmest Regards: A Schitt's Creek Farewell that aired after the finale (it's a must-watch) delves into how much this show has changed its fans’ lives. Years from now, when people look back on Schitt’s Creek, its most enduring legacy will be the effect it has had on the LGBTQ+ community. We’ll remember Patrick singing Tina Turner’s “The Best” to his boyfriend and David saying he’s “into the wine, not the label” to explain his sexuality to his best friend, Stevie. We’ll remember that this show gave many young queer people the language to come out to their families. We won’t forget that beautiful promo photo of Dan Levy and Noah Reid kissing that was plastered on billboards and bus stops around North America. The fact that Schitt’s Creek created a safe space where homophobia doesn’t exist in a small town whose mayor rocks a mullet will be its lasting impact. So, it’s only fitting that it ends with a gay wedding.
The episode opens with David awaking to his very own nightmare: It’s raining on his wedding day. A storm has ripped through the town and ruined his ceremony site, which was not covered with a tent because David chose a woodfire pizza oven instead. Now, there’s no pizza, no wedding venue, and no officiant (he was coming in from Elmdale and cancelled). Moira generously offers to step in and half-confirms my prediction that she and Johnny would officiate the wedding. As thunder roars and David yells expletives at his family, the day is off to a GREAT START.
Patrick steps in to calm David down. First, he opts for words of encouragement. “At the end of the day, I’m going to kiss that worried-looking face of yours and call you my husband and that’s the only thing that matters,” he says proving for the final time that Patrick is too pure and good for this world. He should have left it at comforting reassurance, but Patrick has also arranged for David to get a special massage. Whatever comes to mind when you hear the words “special massage” is exactly the kind of surprise rubdown David gets.
Meanwhile, the rest of our cast of characters are gathered to figure out how to pull off David and Patrick’s wedding in the middle of a torrential downpour (it’s funny how we haven’t seen a rainy day in Schitt’s Creek in six seasons). Ray is documenting the day on a camera that looks like it’s from 2005 while Johnny, maid-of-honour Stevie, and Patrick rally the troops. Roland and Jocelyn offer up their living room (the one place David refused to get married in) and Ronnie comes through with an actual useful suggestion by noting that she has some sway with the florist. “I can see if she can throw in some extra flowers,” she says before making her relationship to the florist very clear. “Johnny, when I say that I know the florist, I mean that I know the florist.”
Karen Robinson’s delivery of this line made me burst into tears because I’m going to miss her so damn much. When we talk about representation, this show may be lacking in racial diversity (aside from Ronnie and Ray), but I think Robinson’s portrayal of a Black lesbian doesn’t get enough credit. When Patrick excitedly thanks Ronnie for the hookup, she says “I’m doing this for David.” The running gag that Ronnie hates Patrick is hilarious for a lot of reasons, but mostly because both characters are beloved and Noah Reid’s baby face is especially un-hateworthy.
As for David, he’s “shockingly calm,” when Stevie and Patrick deliver the news that they will be getting married at the town hall. “That massage really did a number, huh?” Patrick says when David agrees that it doesn’t matter where they get married. “Uh yeah, that was the first time I have ever received a happy ending,” David says. Understandably, Patrick does not receive this news well. “Why would I want you to get a happy ending from a stranger on our wedding day, David!?” says Patrick, too pure and good for this world.
If they hadn't almost taken part in a threesome a few episodes back, I would be less inclined to believe that David would think his fiancé wanted another dude to give him a special massage on his wedding day, but that was nice set up because I totally buy this. Patrick gets over it when he realizes he inadvertently told the masseuse to jerk off his husband-to-be and we’re back on track for the wedding.
At the motel, Alexis and Moira are getting ready. Moira is practising her officiant speech while Alexis is feeling sentimental. She launches into a speech about how it’s the last time her whole family will be together and we’re all Moira in this moment trying to get her to stop so the emotions don’t take over. There are going to be tears later, Alexis! She then confides to her mother that she’s “almost glad” they lost the money because they got to spend so much time together. “I’m happy you and your feelings are so well-acquainted,” Moira says (shots fired at us all). “But you wouldn’t be the first hostage to fall in love with their captor.” Alexis gives her a big emotional hug and a “boop” on the nose in true Alexis fashion. That boop got me and my feeling very well-acquainted.
When David arrives back at the motel, he finds Alexis in a stunning, long, very Marilyn Monroe-esque white dress. “You’re wearing a wedding dress! To my wedding!” David yells. Alexis swears it’s not a wedding dress, even though it came with a “white, tulle headdress” (read: a veil). David is worried everyone is going to think they are getting married to each other — especially because Alexis is walking him down the aisle. They cheers with some champagne as Alexis tries to distract her brother from the fact that she may upstage him on his wedding day.
By the time we get to the town hall — decked out in flowers from Ronnie’s side chick — and we see Patrick up at the altar, I don’t think anyone is worried about Alexis stealing the spotlight. The Jazzagals take their places and do a really sweet rendition of “Precious Love” by James Morrison as Moira enters wearing the greatest Moira Rose lewk of all time. She’s doing her best Rihanna at the Heavenly Bodies-themed Met Gala meets the Pope in drag as Madonna. It’s breathtaking.
As Alexis and David walk hand in hand down the aisle, the Jazzagals sing “The Best” and at this point I’ve turned into one of the puddles outside. I knew the ceremony officiated by Moira would render me a mess of tears and hysterical laughter, but it delivered in ways I couldn’t have predicted. From Moira forgetting Patrick’s last name to her uncontrollable emotions and indistinguishable accent, this scene alone should — and I can’t stress this enough — win Catherine O’Hara an Emmy.
Patrick begins his vows with “I’m going to keep this short because I think you already know I would climb a thousand mountains for you.” By the time he started singing Mariah Carey’s “Always Be My Baby,” I was literally on the floor of my living room screaming. Usually, someone singing during their vows would make me cringe, but Schitt’s Creek did what it does best: turn a corny moment into something magical. It isn’t easy covering a Marah Carey song, so I have to acknowledge Noah Reid’s bravery here and his lovely voice for pulling it off. Mariah is a fan of Schitt’s Creek so I know she will approve.
David’s vows are such a beautiful, emotional, and simple declaration of love that whatever I say about them won’t do them justice, so here’s a snippet of his final perfect words: “I’ve never known love like I have when we’re together. It’s not been an easy road for me, but knowing that you will always be there for me at the end of it makes everything okay. Patrick Brewer, you are my happy ending.” And cue sobs.
The next morning, the family (and Stevie and Patrick) are together to send off Johnny and Moira to Los Angeles. Moira is wearing a checkered suit I would like on my body right now, please, and everyone else is still in their wedding outfits. They say their goodbyes and Moira and Johnny are off as the kids/all of us cry. As Johnny and Moira drive away, Johnny does his best Jackson Maine “I just wanted to take another look at you,” looking back at the infamous Schitt’s Creek town sign.
We’re left with an image of the Rose family I don’t think anyone will ever forget. The town’s tagline is one that could be the thesis of the past six seasons: “Schitt’s Creek — where everyone fits in.” That one was for the fans.
Other Things We Gave A Schitt About This Episode
Who Was The Schitt?
The strength of Schitt’s Creek has always been its ensemble, so in its final episode, the entire cast gets to be The Schitt. To Jocelyn and Roland for being our goofy oddballs. To Ronnie for being the baddest bitch in town. To Twyla, the moral compass of Schitt’s Creek. To Ray, our clueless everyman. To Patrick, the beating heart of this show. And to the Roses, the family we never asked for but the one we needed.
Best Pre-Schitt Name Drop
Moira Rose, the greatest name dropper to ever come across our televisions gives us a final nod to her past with a shoutout to Wheel of Fortune. “I did bring down the house at Pat Sajak’s first wedding,” Moira says. “I remember that. ‘Can I buy a vowel?’” Johnny laughs. “I had the studio audience wrapped around my finger,” Moira brags. I laughed out loud thinking of Pat Sajack having a studio audience at his wedding.
A Moment for Moira’s Wigs
The episode opens with Moira in a short, white bob with pink and green streaks. It ends with her in the most EPIC long blonde wig and crown made of hair that is the Moira Rose Wig Collection pièce de résistance. The final nod to her “bebes”? Moira's request that they be shipped to L.A. in a “temperature-controlled cargo container.”
— “How stupid would I have been not to have done this?” That’s what Catherine O’Hara says in the Schitt's Creek doc when asked about how she almost turned down the show. There’s nothing left to talk about here — other than to yell at anyone who hasn’t watched the show to get on it. Those of us who are fans of Schitt’s Creek can now say that we’re the smart ones, and we would have been stupid not to have gone on this ride with the Roses. Love this journey for us.