13 Wedding Horror Stories You Have To Read To Believe

It's coming up to wedding season which can only mean one thing: wedding drama.

Chances are you've had a wild wedding experience. Maybe there was that one aunt who drunkenly embarrassed your entire family. Maybe a bride got stood up, or the groom said the wrong name at the altar (thank you Ross Geller for cementing that fear in our minds).

Unsurprisingly, the best place to find an ever-growing list of nuptial nightmares is Reddit. Everyone — from wedding planners to DJs to relatives — goes on the site's forums to spill the beans on the worst weddings ever.

Advertisement

Ahead, we've rounded up some of the wildest, funniest, saddest, and most wacky wedding horror stories we found on Reddit. Read 'em and weep (or laugh).

DashDividers_1_500x100

"The bride's hair and makeup were ruined because she insisted on going to gym before she got married"

"My best friend unasked me to be her chief bridesmaid because I ended up in a wheelchair after an accident. Her mum didn't want an overweight cripple to ruin her photographs (I wish I didn't know that she said that... it really affected my body image). I decided not to attend as a guest on the day, despite being asked to come, because I was heartbroken. I found out that the bride's hair and makeup were ruined because she insisted on going to gym before she got married and the makeup melted and the hair wilted. We are sadly no longer friends." — Holiday_Frosting4728

"The toast was entirely about the night the bride was conceived"

"The father of the bride’s toast was entirely about the night the bride was conceived. Nothing about the couple, just took us through the night step-by-step for at least 15 minutes.
I can only be thankful that she was a ‘test tube baby’. I don’t think I ever expected to hear that term in a wedding speech but that day I did in spades!" — TheMorticiaAddams

"In the middle of cutting the cake when the cops came"

"My wedding was set for September 1st. I checked every weather report for the area going back five years. It had not rained on that date for all five of those years. But just in case, I decided to have my wedding at a golf course inside the ballroom. We had a bouncy house planned for the kids. My husband was in the military, so we were going to have a sword ceremony as we ran out to our car. We had family and friends from Italy, China, the Philippines, and Romania fly in for our wedding in Salt Lake [City]. It all went to shit when it began to rain.

Advertisement

"We cancelled the bouncy house on the way to the venue and were thanking our lucky stars we had planned on having it inside. Well, we are halfway through dinner when it begins to hail. Hail the size of golf balls fell and dented cars, cracked windshields, and brought everyone on the patio inside.

"We were in the middle of cutting the cake when the cops came into the venue and had to evacuate our wedding because there were flash floods. Everyone dashed to their cars and had to go around the opposite side of the entire lake the golf course was on because flash floods had wiped out the roads. We had to pick up multiple people who were broken down on the side of the road because they didn't put gas in their damn cars and there [were] absolutely no gas stations on that side of the lake.

"Oh, and to top it all off, my ex-boyfriend showed up to crash my wedding and had sex with one of my bridesmaids in the venue bathroom before he got kicked out. The venue flooded a few hours after our evacuation. Cheers to the most memorable wedding ever: mine." — Sweat-It-Out

"Got punched in the face by the groom."

"Friend is a photographer. Does weddings. Got punched in the face by the groom because the groom decided that the photographer was 'taking too many photos of the bride.' Weddings seem to bring out the worst in humanity." — BANNEDFROMALAMO
Advertisement

"Some girl emerged from out of the curtains."

"My friend was about to get married and when the priest said, 'Speak now or forever hold your peace.' Some girl, [who] I think was one of the groom's old girlfriends, emerged from out of the curtains. I should mention she wasn't even invited, and I can see why now. She started singing a fucking song about how he shouldn't say yes and instead run away with her.

"WELL, HE FUCKING AGREED! AND IN SONG AS WELL! They had no shame; they planned out their escape, too. They just sang in front of the entire party that they would meet each other at the back door and run away together. The poor bride just sat there crying. I felt absolutely terrible for her." — Jerlko

"The dress was held on with dozens of safety pins"

"My friend didn’t try her dress on after having it altered. Turns out that the person they used didn’t sew the corset panel back on when they did the alterations. It was just loose in the bag with the dress. The wedding started an hour late and the dress was held on with dozens of safety pins. I felt terrible for my friend, she went into her wedding running late and stressed out and had to be uncomfortable in that dress." — Bone-of-Contention

"As she was walking down the aisle, a phone rang"

"I was at my aunt's wedding. As she was walking down the aisle, a phone rang. It was her soon-to-be mother-in-laws. It rang for a while while she fumbled through her purse.
Advertisement
"She finally got it out. And answered it. And talked. For a while. While my aunt was walking down the aisle." — Anon

"One of the guests had a heart attack and died right on the dance floor"

"Many years ago my parents went to an adults-only wedding. It seems at these types of weddings there is always that one couple that brings their kids anyway. Well, during the reception one of the guests had a heart attack and died right on the dance floor. My parents said it was pretty traumatic watching people scramble to try and perform CPR and hearing the thumping of fists hitting his chest and seeing his bowels release all over the place.
"Needless to say, the kids that were present were horrified and the mother kept trying to turn everyone's concern to her kids instead of the dead gentleman on the floor and the couple whose wedding reception just got ruined." — Anon

"I couldn't speak. I was humiliated."

"My sister brought a strange girl with her that I didn't know to my wedding; she didn't ask if this was ok, just seemed to be pleased that a girl was hotter than me and showing me up. 
"The girl showed up at the reception, then proceeded to dance and gyrate with my new husband. I asked him to stop, but he said, no, he doesn't want to dance with me and was grabbing her bum. I cried alone in the loo for 30 minutes. 
Advertisement
"Then our cab came to take us to our hotel and I was looking longingly at my dad in the hope he would notice how sad I am. I couldn't speak. I was humiliated. I then got completely drunk on whiskey in the hotel bar at midnight, in my huge dress, telling all women never to get married. I couldn't undo my dress or get my hair undone. 
"I woke up to piles of hair on the floor I'd ripped out, a giant puff of ripped, white fabric, my wedding ring in the bath, and my jewellery broken. Nine missed calls and a missed flight to our honeymoon." — Hulabalulabop

"I see him wipe something that looks like chocolate on the BRIDE'S dress."

"I was at a friend's wedding reception and we're having a good time dancing. A different friend's kid (maybe five or six years old) was hiding under a table while his parents were getting shitfaced and ignoring him.
"The kid then starts running and laughing through the dance floor, and I see him wipe something that looks like chocolate on the BRIDE'S dress. She's mortified, and everybody stops dancing. It was shit. He had shit into his hand and wiped it on people. 
"Years later, my wedding was child-free." — brujahbattalion

"She grabbed the wedding cake, chucked it at the newlyweds."

"I have extensive experience as an events coordinator, including private events such as weddings.

"The worst I've personally witnessed had a groom's baby mama (and ex-fiancé) come to the reception uninvited. She grabbed the wedding cake, chucked it at the newlyweds, and began screaming how he was a deadbeat dad while she grabbed table-wine bottles that she smashed on the ground.

Advertisement

"Everyone was stunned in shock at first, but the ex-fiancé was ultimately restrained by the groomsmen. We called the police, and she was charged with assault, assault with a weapon (from waving around a wine bottle and clocking a groomsman), and destruction of private property (both from the couple and the venue). In the end, the parents of the groom asked me to arrange a lovely (and secret) private dinner for the newlyweds and their bridal party to make up for the fiasco." AnaphylacticHippo

"The bride fainted from lack of food"

"Bride had 14 attendants, each of whom got their own song to walk down the aisle to, the church was over packed by 100 people [and was swelteringly hot.] The ceremony was almost three hours long because 1) so many people wanted to recite poems or sing songs, and 2) the groom's brother gave the wedding talk and turned it into a 'remember when we did this' blow by blow of their entire childhood.
"We finally get to the (blessedly cool) reception hall. Dinner was supposed to start at 6pm. At 8:30pm the bride fainted from lack of food, this was after another two and a half hours of cousins, aunts and uncles giving speeches, poems and songs, one after another. Why they didn't do this after the food was served I will never know.
"And finally around midnight there was a fight between the best man and one of the groomsmen, both of them were black-out drunk and wanted one of the 14 bridesmaids' numbers. They decided to fight it out in the middle of the dance floor." — Tinycowz
Advertisement

"She slipped and hit the floor like a rock — face first into the cake"

"Friends had a small wedding, with the reception in a private area of a restaurant with about 30 people. After the meal, our server came through the doors with the three-tier wedding cake in her arms. When she got front and centre, she slipped and hit the floor like a rock — face first into the cake. The initial laughter stopped quickly when it seemed she might be hurt, because she wasn't moving. She got up with help, obviously sore, but crying as hard as I've ever seen. Hysterically apologising over and over.
"Fast forward a couple hours, thankfully she was physically ok. But even better, she was serving New Yorkers with money who felt terrible for her, and were now drunk. I don't know what the hosting couple tipped her, but I'm certain she picked up another $5,000 from the guests on the side. I threw her a $100 and I'm cheap. She was crying again when we left, but for an entirely different reason." — Scrappy_Larue
DashDividers_1_500x100
Want more? Get Refinery29 Australia’s best stories delivered to your inbox each week. Sign up here!

More from Living