This week's episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians picks up just as Kris Jenner laid it down for Scott, asking if he's got uninvited company. It's the dinner that just won't end, especially if you're Scott Disick.
Scott's explanation is that he and Kourtney are both "obviously trying to move on." The rest of the family isn't buying it. At least, they aren't buying it if moving on means bringing a date on a Kardashian Family Vacation. "Don't you think it's disrespectful?" Kourtney asks. Clearly, that wasn't what Scott thought because his answer is "To who?" This answer lands like a lead balloon with Kardashian, Inc. "Someone with any kind of integrity would not do that," Kris says, harsh words from Scott's surrogate mom. Scott uses his go-to response that it is too tough for him to be around Kourtney without being with Kourtney. He says he's a sex addict, but then explains in his interview segment that he isn't a sex addict, that was just the first thing that popped into his mind.
Sex addict or not, disrespectful or not, the dinner doesn't end well for Scott. Khloé, Kim, and Kris all throw their waters at him before heading to their waiting golf cart. Scott walks Kourtney to the cart and true to their dysfunctional form, they seem pretty okay with the evening's events. Khloé gives him one final warning: "Don't fuck with us."
Kourtney says she is relieved that the dinner conversation took place. "This is the final door closed. We're done," she says. She claims to happy that the "ten years of nonsense" that are her relationship with Scott are finally over.
The next morning Scott is nervous to see the whole gang. He doesn't know what to expect, but everything is pretty much back to normal. Khloé, who was texting with him all night, gives him a hug. Khloé's getting back to business as Julie the Cruise Director for the trip. She's not going to let a Scott and Kourtney mini-drama get in the way. Next up on the schedule is a trip inland for some whitewater, hot springs, and volcano action.
Kim's not up for tubing through the rainforest, claiming that she didn't know that she would get wet. Whitewater rafting. In the rainforest. Kris also takes a hard pass on the inner tube. The rest of the family head off down the river, GoPros in hand because if it's not on film for this crew, it didn't happen. Kim and Kris are waiting at the end of the river where the whole family takes a dip in a hot spring. Kim mentions the hot spring is good for her psoriasis. This turns Kris into everyone's favorite nudgy aunt by replacing the water in the water bottles with water from the spring so that she can take it with her.
Kourtney feels great about where she is with Scott and great about herself. "Scott's so lucky because I'm the coolest baby mama on the planet," she says in her interview segment. "The stuff he's done, and I still allow him to come on family vacations," she adds. Later she tells Scott she's happy that they've learned that they just need to move on. "Perfect. You've driven me crazy for ten years," he says. Kourtney doesn't love that sentiment, but she says that saying "We're never getting back together," out loud is good for them both.
Khloé is feeling less great about everything. She planned this trip for them all to have family time together, and that just isn't happening. After Kris spots what she believes to be a paparazzi boat, their day at the beach is canceled. Kylie and Tyga have been nowhere to be seen (except on social media), and Khloé isn't having it. These trips aren't what they used to be, she says, because everyone is so concerned with so many other things. "I go on these trips, and I feel like we're going to bond, and it just doesn't happen," she says. Kim disagrees. She puts some of the blame at Khloé's feet calling Khloé negative and snappy. They have a big fight, and Khloé leaves in a huff.
The other Kardashian women have a how-do-you-solve-a-problem-like-Khloé sit-down. Kris leads the diplomatic mission to make things right. "If she's not having any fun, let's change that," Kris says. Kris, Kim, and Kourtney find Khloé on the patio. Khloé's hurt because she feels like she's not around much and this was her time to catch up with her sisters. Kim calls her negative again. Khloé calls them ungrateful family members. "You're like a big bully who bullies all of us," Kim says. Diplomatic mission fail. Isn't this a plot line for at least one of them on every Official Family Vacation?
The gym is Khloé's happy place, so that's where she goes. Kylie pops in for some Snapchatting. Kim comes in to say hello. This is more like it, Khloé says. This is what she wanted, just hanging out and doing some butt crunches with her sisters.
The last night of the trip Kourtney, feeling free after shedding a Scott-sized anchor, does a naked photo shoot in the pool. Nothing weird here, folks. Just a professional glam squad and your family and the crew of your reality show there for you to take it all off and take a dip in the pool. Khloé loves it. "She's YOLO-ing it up," Khloé declares of her sister.
Kim flies from Costa Rica to New York to testify for the French judge handling her robbery case. She's anxious about having to relive the robbery and about seeing the people responsible. Earlier, during the vacation, she confessed that she would be hesitant to testify against someone and put them away for a long time when she hadn't seen their faces in Paris.
Jonathan Cheban shows up at Kim's place in New York to show his support. Kim explains the process to him and super assistant Stephanie. Kim is worried about how the testimony will trigger her anxiety. She doesn't know what her reaction will be when she can "put faces with the terror" that she went through. Kim outlines the charges that are being brought: weapons charges, attempted murder, robbery, and kidnapping. She tells Jonathan and Steph that during the trial an actress will play her and actors will play the robbers and the ordeal will be acted out in a French courtroom. Jonathan and Steph's shocked looks at this plan are all of us.
The show's cameras aren't in the room for Kim's testimony. But, for the benefit of the viewers at home, she calls Kris to give her, and us, the details. The hearing was all day, lasting from 10:00 AM to 6:00 PM. The process was slow and laborious. Kim went through everything second by second. Then her testimony would be translated into French and then back to English to confirm. She was more interested than she expected to be by seeing the robbers' faces. She also learned a lot. The criminals had been tracking her for months, possibly even years, before robbing her. They had planned the robbery for a different trip to Paris but didn't pull it off because Kanye was with her. The takeaway for Kim is that this was going to happen eventually one way or another. In an odd way, she is thankful because now she is so much more aware of her surroundings and she can be better prepared and protect herself more in the future.
It's all lemonade from lemons for the Kardashians. Scott and Kourtney are over, for good. (If they say so.) Kim is processing her fear and anxiety. Khloé is even planning a return to Costa Rica. "I definitely want to come back here," she says. "But probably with a different group of people.
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