Walking Dead Season 7 Premiere Recap Episode 1 Review

AMC

And the suspense continues! When we last left our heroes, they were kneeling before Negan as he played a festive game of eeny-meeny-miny-moe to determine whose brains he would bash in. But instead of cutting back to where we left off, we open on Rick, in shock over the unseen murder. "I'm gonna kill you," he mutters to Negan. "Not today, not tomorrow, but I'm gonna kill you." Negan seems amused by the this and drags Rick into the RV for some light torture as the camera pulls back to reveal a gory, chunky mess of brains without showing us whose body they came from. Roll credits! Then commercials! Then back to the RV, where it's time to bury the hatchet, literally. Negan slaps a small axe into the table and tosses Rick in the back. "Let's go for a ride," Negan says, trying to start the RV. He challenges Rick to grab the axe and kill him; Rick does and Negan spins, pulling a rifle on him. They drive through the misty dawn, running down zombies as Rick has flashbacks. Negan stops in an area thick with zombies and tosses the axe outside, demanding Rick go get it. He tosses Rick out of the RV. Surrounded by smoke and walkers, Rick fights his way through and climbs on top of the RV, seeing they're at one of Negan's roadblocks. Rick falls to his knees and has more flashbacks of his friends and then there's another commercial because Scott Gimple really wants to wait as long as he can with this reveal. And now we're back to Rick's POV and Negan's game of eeny-meeny. And it winds up on Abraham. "Suck my nuts," he says defiantly after Negan whacks him on the noggin. Negan seems delighted by this and continues to whack away until there's nothing left of Abe's head. It's gross, and the crew is horrified. Daryl jumps up to attack Negan, which is a terrible idea for many reasons, but mainly because Negan warned them not to, so as punishment and to prove he's a man of his word, Negan hauls off and whacks Glenn, crushing the front of his skull and making his eyeball pop out. "First impressions are important," Negan says, "I need you to know me." It's a horrifying moment, but somewhat expected since Glenn was Negan's victim in the comics. "I'll find you," Glenn says to Maggie before Negan smashes his skull into pieces. "Lucile is thirsty" Negan says of his weapon as we see Glenn's hand twitch next to his exploded head. "She's a vampire bat." Negan finds this hilarious. The group, not so much. We flash forward to Rick, back on top of the RV, which is now completely surrounded by zombies. Negan demands the Rick bring back the axe, and shoots through the roof of the RV to get Rick moving. Rick jumps onto a nearby zombie that's swinging from a bridge. Rick's weight pulls the zombie's head off, and Rick collapses onto a pile of the dead as Negan gives him some cover fire. As Rick fights his way back to the RV, he has visions of the others getting smacked with Lucille, just to torture viewers some more. "Atta boy" Negan says as Rick returns and hands him the axe. They drive back to the scene of the crime. Negan teases Rick. "This must be hard for you, right? I mean, you have been King Shit for so long." Negan tosses Rick out in front of the group again. "Do you even know what that little trip was about?" Negan asks. "That trip was about the way that you looked at me. I wanted to change that. I wanted you to understand. But you're still looking at me the same damn way, like I shit in your scrambled eggs. And that's not going to work." Negan offers to give Rick another chance: "The grand prize game. What you do next will decide whether your crap day becomes everyone's last crap day, or just another crap day." Negan's men put guns to the back of everyone's heads. He pulls Carl over and ties a belt around his left arm, then draws a line across it. Negan tosses Rick the axe and demands that he cut off Carl's arm or his men will shoot everyone. "You don't have to do this," Michonne begs. "You understand," Negan replies. "I'm not sure that Rick does." Rick hesitates, "It could be me. You could do it to me." "No," Negan says. "Pick up the axe. Not making a decision is a big decision. You want to see these people die? You will see every ugly thing." Ricks panics as Negan counts down from three. "Dad, just do it," Carl says. As Rick raises the axe, Negan stops him. "You answer to me. You provide for me. You belong to me." Negan demands. Rick submits to him. "THAT is the look I wanted to see," Negan says. He addresses the group, telling them they all work for him. Negan leaves them the RV but takes Daryl as a hostage, saying that he will cut pieces off of him if they don't deliver. "We'll be back for our first offering in one week. Until then? Ta-ta." Maggie is a mess. She wants to go after Negan, but they talk her out of it and haul away Abe and Glenn's bodies to the RV, leaving two bloody stains on the ground. Negan's words echo in Rick's head as he imagines them all sitting around a table, eating a meal, with Glenn and Abraham at the end of the table with Maggie's future baby. "But you thought you were all gonna grow old together, sitting around the table at Sunday dinner, happily ever after. No. It doesn't work like that, Rick. Not anymore." As Rick drives the RV away, a zombie emerges from the woods and drops to its knees, eating the spilled brains on the ground.