"Holy F, That Ass"
I've always felt like I was too big. To deal with what I saw as my "body problem," during my teens and 20s, I turned to bulimia, self-hatred, and excessive exercise. Turns out, all I needed to help me celebrate my assets was a group of women fawning over me as I danced half-naked.
I started pole-dancing in November of 2015. Over the first few months, I would leave pole class ready to quit, thinking I was just too big or unskilled. But, little by little, I got stronger. Tricks that seemed impossible became as easy as could be. All along the way, my pole teacher was gentle and kind, and truly excited when I nailed a new move.
One day, in our normal end of class dance, a slender classmate of mine was cheering me on and gawking at my ass. She couldn't control her love for my booty and the way I was moving it, so she screamed, "Holy F, that ass!" Something clicked in my head. This female (and overall badass friend), whose body I had envied, was admiring my voluptuous butt, admiring my unique assets and my own form of being hot. All of a sudden, it was as if all the clichés about uniqueness and beauty made sense to me. We are all uniquely beautiful — there really isn't a superior type of beauty. Each version is awesome in its own way.
It's been about a year and a half since that first pole class. I am now comfortable, and even excited, to be mainly naked pole-dancing, embracing my curves, my sultry moves, and my femininity. This ease and love of myself carries over to bathing suits, jeans, and just about any other outfit. When I walk down the beach, I now strut, enjoying every shake and curve.
It's as if I have acquired a super power: the power to see beauty in myself and every human. It's pretty much the best super power I could ever dream of.
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