I Tried Butt-Lifting Creams, & This Is What Happened

Now’s a good time
to note that there are multiple causes for cellulite. As Dr. Bank explains, the
fibrous connective bands that hold our muscles and fat in place run
perpendicular to the skin. Fat cells become swollen, thanks to the
aforementioned sluggish lymphatic drainage and hormones, and then the cells
bulge between the fibrous bands, causing dimpling. Thinner female skin is also a contributor. It doesn’t necessarily matter how much you weigh —
it can occur on all body types. That’s
why it’s so difficult to pinpoint one ingredient or treatment that will
fix it. “I
don’t personally think there is a home-run treatment at the moment,” says Dr.
Bank. “Cellulite is so complicated that I think it’s going to be a while
[before we have one].”

Well, that didn't keep me from trying. Despite his pessimism, Dr.
Bank agreed to analyze the ingredient labels of each of the two products. Mio’s
main ingredients include caffeine, laminaria (which acts as a diuretic), green tea as
an antioxidant, shea butter for moisture, and menthol — which gave it a tingly
kick that gave, at least, the illusion that something was happening on my skin.
It has a thick, creamy consistency and a fresh, slightly spicy scent. The
Talika product is a less traditional cellulite cream. It contains several plant
extracts that the company claims affect fat storage, moisturizers, and lactic and
glycolic acids. It has a thinner consistency — sort of like a gooey serum. Aesthetically,
I preferred the Mio product. 

According to Dr. Bank, none
of these ingredients will “cure” cellulite — your best hope is of making it temporarily
look better on a superficial level. Moisturizing and improving the skin's surface are half the battle, and both of these products contain ingredients
that do that. The goal is to actually make skin plumper externally while
decreasing swelling in fat cells, in order to visually decrease the contrast
between the dimples and the non-dimpled skin. Caffeine works as a mild diuretic,
trying to get rid of some of that extra fluid that's retained because of the
sluggish lymph nodes. Ingredients like fruit acids will help
smooth skin; dimethicone and hyaluronate will trap moisture and
“plump.” “I think [these products] certainly could help the appearance of
the cellulite without truly correcting, curing, or fixing the complex
underlying biophysiology of what’s going on,” he says.

After two months of twice-daily application, I returned to Dr. Bank’s office for follow-up pictures,
which he zoomed in on and analyzed for me. (Let’s hope his office never
experiences a Sony-level hack, because no one outside of the medical community
needs to see those.) The verdict? “On
very close inspection of the before and after pictures, there is an ever-so-slight,
very subtle smoothing of the skin,” he says. “Where there are some undulations
and topographical changes, the after pictures do look a bit smoother and more
even.” He saw this subtle improvement on both sides, so both products seem to
have done an equally good job.

I was pleasantly surprised, although the results were obviously
minor. “I don’t think that if we had done an ultrasound, or a CT scan, or
biopsies, that you would have seen any real change in the true cellulite
condition,” Dr. Bank says. “If anything, you’d see a bit better hydrated skin,
which would therefore be a little plumper.” Myself, I didn't notice a huge difference visually, although my thighs definitely felt smoother and more taut, sort of like my face feels when I’ve been using a
really good moisturizer regularly. (Plus, the massage I was giving myself twice a day may have helped me see some temporary results.) Honestly, though, applying one of these
products twice a day feels like a chore to me — I don't feel as invested in them
as I do in my facial products, possibly because very few people are ever privy to
the underside of my butt. Still, if cellulite is a
concern, I can recommend them with the caveat that you should
definitely not expect miracles.

The biggest lesson I learned from all of this: Maybe we should just
stop considering cellulite a problem.