How Kendall Roy’s Beard Stole Christmas

It's been a few days since Entertainment Weekly released their extremely attractive Succession photoshoot, and we are still not finished processing. And honestly, where to begin? Sarah Snook's in a skin-tight shamrock dress paired with dark berry lips. Kieran Culkin’s skeptically arched brows are begging to neg me. And then there's Jeremy Strong with his pinky ring, ruffled cuffs, and hiatus beard. Hold me
Maybe it’s just because the holidays are upon us, but is anyone else picking up on a sexy, maybe even horny, Grinch vibe from Kendall Roy? There's something distinctly Grinch-ian about that money-green lighting. Hot Kendall and hot Grinch do have a lot in common: they both love power, they have trust issues, and they'll make your heart grow three sizes if you just give them the chance.
To that end we’ve rewritten a Christmas classic in honor of our number one boy. No, really.
Please sing to the tune of “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch,” and stay tuned for our take on Green Greggs and Ham.
"You're a mean one, Mr. Roy
You really grew that beard
You're a salt and pepper zaddy
Our attraction, it is weird
Mr. Roy!
The Globes snubbed you as we feared!
"You're a mean one, Mr. Roy
You’ve had it with the park coke
You’re gonna bring down RoyCo
If it's the last thing that you do!
Mr. Roy!
Why'd you let Naomi leave the boat!
"You’re a mean one, Mr. Roy
You’ve got a closet full of brown
Your apartment smelled like Rava
So you had to move downtown
Mr. Roy!
I’d let you drive me off a bridge and watch me drown!"
Happy holidays from the Refinery29 Succession Hive!
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