“This has got to be disappointing,” “Weekend Update” host Michael Che asked Bryant, who was dressed as McClain.
“Nope. Not at all,” Bryant’s McClain replied in the happy everything-is-fine tone women have (unfortunately) become accustomed to using in public settings so they won’t be deemed emotional. You know, despite actually being pissed.
Bryant continued on and shouted out McClain’s resume, stacked with impressive tidbits like her time as a helicopter pilot, the 216 combat missions she did in the U.S. Army and the two master’s degrees she holds.
“But then the space shirt and the pants were the wrong size. So, unfortunately, the dream gotta die,” Bryant’s McClain said. She also pointed out that NASA has made suits for dogs and monkeys in the past, but for some reason only one woman gets to be “Moon Queen.”
After consulting with McClain and fellow NASA astronaut Nick Hague following their first spacewalk a week prior, NASA announced Monday that only one medium-size torso space shirt was available – the size that fits McClain and Koch best. And it was easier to swap spacewalkers than to get another suit ready, according to the organization. So it was announced that Koch would wear the one suit available and spacewalk with Hague instead.
Nonetheless, as Bryant’s McClain (again, sarcastically) pointed out, she (meaning the real McClain) still got to be blasted off into space and do the “chill” stuff like “eat all the steak dust” and “whizzing in my tube.”
“To all the little girls out there, I just want to say, you can all become astronauts,” Bryant’s McClain concluded. “Just not at the same time.”
Ahh, inspirational, isn’t it?