It's not all that unusual to find someone that takes condiments very seriously. There are people out there who refuse to touch a sandwich unless both pieces of bread have a generous smear of mayonnaise (me). And there are those who believe that every corndog deserves a perfect squiggly line of yellow mustard down its middle. Even more common are the people who need every bite of French fry to be dipped in ketchup. These are all fairly normal expressions of love for a condiment, but according to Mashable, a Twitter user named David Collinson just showed that his devotion to his favorite condiment, ketchup, is a bit more extreme.
Last week, Collinson opened his cupboard to find a devastating scene. A brand new, unopened bottle of ketchup had exploded all over the place. Understandably, he was left confused and looking for answers. So, he reached out to Morrisons, the grocery store where he had purchased the ketchup. He wrote, "Dear @Morrisons why has my unopened ketchup decided to end it's life like this?" He included a photo of the body in the tweet.
About ten minutes later, still stricken with sadness, the ketchup lover decided to do the decent thing and lay the bottle to rest with dignity. He honored the fallen ketchup bottle with a sweet funeral ceremony and tweeted a photo at Morrisons.
Finally, the grocery store responded and actually played along with Collison's funeral gag. Morrisons wrote, "David my invite seems to have been lost in the post! Please can you DM me the store and the bar code to get closure." To this, David had the most hilarious comeback.
Based on the rest of the tweets in the thread, it looks like David got everything sorted out with Morrisons. Unfortunately, things didn't end so smoothy for the ketchup. May all the condiment lovers out there never have to deal with such a loss.