How One Person Perfectly Trolled A Tinder Match Who Was Looking For Drugs

Photo: Photofest Digital.
The world of online dating can be pretty strange, but sometimes it's the strangest moments that create the best stories. A Reddit user who goes by AtWarHereInThursday has a great story now, after a Tinder match admitted that they were just looking for drugs.
In a post to the Tinder sub-Reddit that is quickly going viral, AtWarHereInThursday uploaded screenshots of their exchange.
"Hey there! You are really attractive but tbh I'm on here looking for addys or Ritalin lol," the match wrote.
Soon after getting that message, the original poster (OP) decided to mess with this person's head.
"First a question...are you a cop?" they wrote.
The match, of course, wasn't the police — just a college student nervous about failing a test. So the OP went on with phase two of their epic troll and told this naive student that they had "just about everything you could ask for."
By "everything" they meant:
"lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity do das, crap flappers, whistlin' bung-holes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker don'ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, and just one single whistlin' kitty chaser."
If those don't sound like any drugs you've ever hear of, that's because they aren't drugs. Kids from the 90s might remember that these are the names of several made-up fireworks from the movie Joe Dirt.
It's a pretty great quote for this particular situation, but the OP's match didn't seem to catch the reference.
"I have no idea what any of those are," they said.
Despite the match's obliviousness, the people of Reddit who did understand the reference thought the OP was absolutely brilliant. The post has more than 71,000 views as of writing.
Many other Reddit users offered up quote suggestions from other movies and books should the OP ever find themselves in this situation again, including John Cena's appearance as a drug dealer in "Sisters" and a quote from Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas.
We're not sure that the OP will ever get the chance to use these suggestions, but based on the quick thinking from this post, we're sure any other matches who may be looking for drugs won't get away unscathed.
As for the match who dealt with the OP's trolling, we hope they learned that Tinder may not be the best place to find a drug dealer.

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