Love & Hip Hop: New York Episode 2 Recap: “Get Off The Counter & Let’s Talk Civilized”

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Mona Scott-Young wasted no time bringing the drama back like it never left on Love & Hip Hop: New York. How there is so little, but still so much to talk about is beyond me. The corny award goes to…DJ Drewski.
No one gave Hot 97’s DJ Drewski the memo: If you’re going to be the token white guy on a hip-hop scene, don’t be a walking cliché. And definitely don’t call yourself “White Chocolate.” There is no chocolate here, only white. He may have snagged a gig at one of the country’s premier hip-hop radio stations, but he’s still corny over everything. We’re introduced to Drewski in episode 2, and I’m not sure exactly what his girlfriend, Sky, sees in him. To make matters worse, Sky isn’t the only one checking for him. Young B — who is apparently going by a more sophisticated moniker these days, Bianca Bonnie — also has eyes for the DJ and isn’t playing coy about it, either. She tells friend Cardi B that she plans on taking Drewski from Sky and Cardi approves. Why? Because “it’s the Harlem thing to do.” The more you know. Cardi B’s new pearly whites are susceptible to more than lipstick.
After getting her grill glammed in the season opener, my lord and savior Cardi B has been infused with a new wave of confidence. But while she may have shut down haters who made fun of her teeth, she’s attracting some unexpected attention. Her producer Swift can’t keep his true feelings to himself and kisses Cardi during a studio session. This isn’t good news for Cardi’s relationship with incarcerated Tommy. Juelz is back in the studio, and Kimbella doesn’t like it.
Kimbella, cautious because of Juelz Santana's previous infidelity, doesn’t like that her rapper boyfriend refuses to use his home studio to record music. Apparently public studios are the equivalent of short-stay motels for artists. Kimbella shows up unannounced to one of Juelz’s recording sessions and causes a small scene in front of his producer and two women who appear to have no interest in him whatsoever. Unrelated: Juelz has yet to rock a single bandana this season, and I’m kind of salty about it. Papoose’s new artists might be a little too close to home for Remy Ma.
Papoose has been working as a manager for his wife, rapper Remy Ma. He’s done so well in this new role that he feels ready to sign some new artists. Remy is suspicious, but when she finds out that said artists are actually their own two teenage children, she is reluctant to say the least. It doesn’t help that when the kids drop some bars for their mom to hear, they drop a bunch of f-bombs, too. Remy is afraid that her kids don’t understand that they can still get grounded and that success doesn’t come overnight in the music industry. Tell that to Justin Bieber. Snoop crosses the line.
After earning her spot in the all-boy “Creep Squad” and catching the eye of aspiring artist Sofi Green, Snoop (a.k.a. bae) lands herself in hot water with girlfriend J Adrienne. Snoop agrees to be a guest on Sofi’s sex-focused podcast, and things get steamy when Sofi records herself feeding Snoop strawberries. While Snoop appears to have the best intentions for her relationship, she certainly seems to be enjoying the attention. Naturally, J sees the footage and wilds out on Snoop as only a Chicago girl can. (I’m a Chicago girl, so I know these things.) In her anger, J Adrienne loses the sense to walk around her kitchen counter to get in Snoop’s face, opting instead to jump onto the counter during their argument. Thus another memorable LHHNY one-liner is born. Snoop calmly but firmly tells J, “Get off the counter and let’s talk civilized!” When all else fails, Love & Hip Hop will always fall back on women not trusting their partners as a catalyst for drama. What did I get myself into?

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