This week it's Christmas in the world of Divorce, so you already know: It's about to go down. The episode begins with a debate between Frances and Robert about how to spend Christmas.
So in honor of the holiday season with the DuFresne family, instead of the 12 Days Of Christmas, let's roundup:
The 12 Best Moments Of Christmas On Divorce:
12. When Frances and Robert deliver another big speech to the kids during the drive about how they're planning to reveal the divorce to their grandparents, son Tom responds, "Can I get back to watching John Wick?" Proving that yet again, Robert and Frances are way more bothered by this divorce than the kids are.
11. When Frances' mom asks her and Robert what's new in the family, Frances awkwardly avoids answering the question by offering to put the kids to sleep. As she walks out, Nick throws out a sarcastic "Goodnight dear." HA. Clearly, he's annoyed she hasn't been honest with her 'rents yet.
10. When Frances' dad toasts the family, "Here's to family together during the holidays," Nick adds "and far apart the rest of the year." I might be stealing that one-liner at my own holiday this year.
9. At bedtime, Robert knocks and then barges into Frances's bedroom, asking if she's decent. "You knocked and opened the door a second later...what could I possibly do in that time if I wasn't?" she asks. Nick's response: "A coy face and a boob cover." L.O.L. Seriously, you guys. Nick is the best part of this show.
8. And one more great gift of a one-liner from Robert: When Frances protests at him sleeping with her in the bed, he reminds her of his bad back before adding: "We've slept next to each other 10,000 times without having sex. We can live with two more nights."
7. Finally, after a few episodes of war with these two, there's a sweet exchange between them: "I spent so many years laying in this bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering what my grown-up life would be. And here I am. I wouldn't trade any of it for the world," Frances says before they start reminiscing about previous holidays with their kids. "At least we did two things right," Robert adds. Temporarily, in the name of Christmas, it seems like a white flag has been waved.
6. Robert confronts Frances before Christmas Eve that she needs to man up and tell her parents already, because he loves them and hates being fake. To illustrate, when Frances' mom comes in and asks "Who wants to try my homemade hummus?" Robert plasters a smile on his face and gushes "I would loooove to. Mmmm, muy delicioso!" Pouring it on a little thick, aren't we, Robert?
5. In true Robert fashion, he forces France's hand to share the news of their divorce by giving a Christmas party toast that begins, "The Bible says that truthful lips shall endure forever. A lying tongue is but for a moment." Bringing the Bible into it, Robert? Low blow. Frances finally admits to the entire family that they're getting divorced, and is met with awkward silence. "That's not where I was heading at all," Robert whispers to her. "I was going to sing that 'Pa-Rum-Pum-Pum-Pum' song."
4. In private, Frances begins to explain to her parents what happened, but is clearly struggling with admitting the truth. And then in a totally unexpected move, Robert steps in and says that he had an affair. My jaw literally dropped. It was incredibly big of Robert — who we've come to know as pretty darn immature — to help Frances save face in front of her parents. In bed later that night, when Frances tells him he didn't have to do that, he says simply: "Merry Christmas."
3. When Frances and her mom have a chat about "Robert's" indiscretion, Frances tells her mom that people have affairs because they're unhappy. "Sometimes I think people have affairs because it's fun," her mom says. "And then they get tired of it and hope nobody ever finds out. Doesn't always mean it's a bad marriage." Frances gives her mom a look: Is she trying to tell her she's had an affair before?
2. My second to last favorite moment: We cut to Christmas at Julian's house, which is super quiet and polite (a.k.a., stereotypically British — sorry, Brits). There's then a thunderous knock on the door; a man has a message for Julian from a woman named Doreen's husband: A major punch in the gut. Turns out Julian is no stranger to sleeping with married women. And I gotta admit, I kind of think he deserved that punch.
1. Back in the car again with the kids, Robert and Frances glance at the backseat to make sure they have their headphones on before talking about what happened. When Frances asks Robert why he took the fall for her, he admits, "Maybe the truth isn't something that I'm dying to be associated with. It doesn't exactly make me feel great to have everyone know that the reason we're getting divorced is because you fornicated with a French douchebag 22 times." And then poor Tom pipes up from the back seat. "Hey, Dad? My headphones are on, but they're not plugged into anything yet. Just...FYI." OMG. Tom heard everything. In all of Robert and Frances's efforts to keep their kids out of it, they are now officially in it — and that's way TMI for any kid.
This episode was a doozy. Let's see how things go for the DuFresnes in the new year next week. See y'all then!