The Walking Dead Season 7, Episode 3: The Cell

Gene Page/AMC
So The Walking Dead has been at its worst when it confuses pondering nonsense with profundity and that's exactly what it did tonight with a boring episode that seemed to want to revisit some of the weakest BSG/Homeland/24 plotlines of the George W. Bush era. We resume where we left off from episode one of this season, with Mirror Universe Daryl (half-melty-face Dwight) trying to co-opt Daryl's identity and gear while dishing out a maximum amount of psychological torture by blasting a classic song by The Jam to set the mood.
BTW: If you're thinking of torturing me at any point, know that the works of Paul Weller will have the opposite effect. Dwight heads out to the yard and and he brings naked dirty Derl some food. OK so now we're doing Guantanamo tactics to destroy Daryl's mind. But for real? Daryl Dixon will not break. Daryl Dixon will break YOU. Negan, meanwhile, apparently has a well organized basement prison that's quite clean. (But why is Daryl wearing a scarlet letter A, btw?) And he has a strange convo with Dwight: Is is me, or is Negan suggesting that Dwight may have had some crucial equipment bitten off? Dwight drags Daryl into the prison yard. "You can be like me, or them," he tells him, pointing at the walkers. Dwight uses Daryl's crossbow to take out zombies in the prison yard. "I'm getting used to this thing," he teases. He's basically like the biggest Daryl fanboy of all time. And everyone watching is bored af atm. Back in Daryl's cell, so dude tosses him a sandwich but accidentally leave the door to his cell open. A mystery woman runs into a Daryl and warns him to go back. He shuns her and sneaks out, and gets to a group of motorcycles parked outside, but he's captured by Negan and co. Negan explains how everyone is loyal to him by making them say "I AM NEGAN." Like they're all Spartacus or something. Negan swings Lucille at Daryl, who doesn't flinch. "You don't care easy. I love that." Negan goes off to get a drink and lets his men beat the shit out of Daryl. Meanwhile, Dwight is fucking around beneath and underpass and gets overcome by zombies. Dwight comes across a man fighting with a zombie. He saves him, but then threatens him with a gun. They seem to have known each other back in the day, apparently, and had a fight over allegiance to Negan. Dwight seems to have been injured/bitten somehow. The man kneels. He doesn't want to fight anymore. "This is the last time I am going to yield. I remember, D." "I'll dig up your dead wife and feed her body to the crows. You feel that?" "OK, D, you won. But you know there's nothing left." Dwight shoots at him. We don't see where the bullet goes. Back at the prison,Dwight share a smoke with mystery girl. Which makes me want to smoke, because this episode is tough. Mystery woman seems to maybe be Dwight's sister? Dwight drops back in on Daryl: "You got your friend killed. Don't pretend like you won't know the score." Dwight tapes something to Daryl's wall. It's a Polaroid of Glenn's dead body. Roy Orbison's "Crying" plays. Daryl breaks. The next day, Dwight takes Daryl to Negan's gross apartment. Negan explains that he made Dwight give up his wife to Negan so he could marry her. (This is some apocalyptic Jerry Springer stuff now.) All you gotta do is answer one simple question, Negan says to Daryl: "Who are you?" Negan says, expecting him to say "Negan." There's a long pause. "Daryl." He answers, as Dwight takes him back to solitary. In the yard of the prison, Dwight looks at his friend who he shot. He's now a zombie, crawling at the gates.

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