Warning: This article contains spoilers from tonight's episode of Outlander. Read at your own risk. To quote a Civil War general who wouldn't be born for another 74 years, war is hell. Claire can't even go for a pee without stumbling upon the body of a slain Highlander, and Prince Charles' advisors are calling each other "pompous toe rags" as they bicker about strategy. It's not all bad news. A series of surprise attacks have enabled them to take Perth and Edinburgh, though someone needs to hand Charles a copy of The Art of War. As Claire sets up her field hospital with a group of local women and sexist-in-training Fergus, the prince tells her to treat his British enemies before his Jacobite allies. "They are our enemies now but one day soon they will be our friends again," he explains. Claire advises him to keep that pro-British sentiment quiet. Tempers are flaring between the MacKenzie and Lallybroch Frasers, who don't seem to be bonding over their common interest in facial hair and poor personal hygiene. Team Mac scores a victory when he decides to ride over toward the British camp for a reccie. The plan is to stay out of firing range, but Dougal's horse gets stuck in the mud. The British see him, and manage to fire a round into his jaunty beret before he's able to turn back into the warm embrace of a very impressed Prince Charles. Let's hope the royal didn't notice that he'd shat his pants. Dougal's takeaway is that the field is too muddy to cross. A local man, Mr. Anderson, conveniently turns up with a secret way to get through the bogs. Charles agrees to let him lead the troops through for another surprise attack. It's a truth universally acknowledged that those who brood over death before going into a life-threatening situation will almost certainly be killed. And yet, Ross and Kincaid are making promises to look after each other's families, and Angus offers Rupert his never-used sword and the services of Scarlett, the "part-time whore, full-time barmaid." In true Debbie Downer fashion, Murtagh is contemplating whether his death will be in vain given his knowledge that the war is doomed. Claire assures him they will at least win this particular battle. And win they do. After following Anderson through the bog, Jamie leads his men (and Fergus, who has predictably snuck out) into battle to spill some Redcoat blood. The British prisoners roll into the field hospital, but there are Jacobite losses, too. Ross brings in his dead friend Kincaid, and Angus is distraught when Rupert is slashed across the chest. Claire stitches him up and instructs Angus, who viewers now know was knocked to the ground by a cannon blast after saving his best buddy's life, to not fall asleep.
While Dougal is making Redcoat kebabs on the battlefield, Jamie and Murtagh return with news of victory and a British retreat. Fergus is less enthusiastic, as he's shaken by the idea that he may have killed a man. The after-party — fueled by fat jokes at Rupert's expense and a literal pissing contest between Jamie and the injured Redcoats —is brought to a halt by the sudden appearance of Prince Charles. His subsequent speech about the bond between England and Scotland is also brought to a halt, by a fuming Dougal. He's outraged to see everyone yukking it up with the Brits, but Charles stops his tantrum. In a rare show of leadership, the royal brands him a "bloodthirsty barbarian" he wants out. Jamie stands up for his uncle, and manages to secure him a role as leader of the Highlander dragoon, a sort of guerrilla force. Dougal's grateful, but he knows what's up: He's more or less being exiled so he's out of Jamie's way. All of this time, and nobody's thought to check on Angus. He's passed out, and Claire is horrified to discover that his mild concussion was masking internal bleeding. All they can do is watch as the fiery Scotsman spits up blood and dies. Rupert reacts to the loss of his best friend by heaving himself out of bed and taking the sword promised to him. We can only presume Scarlett's next.