Warning: This article contains spoilers from episode 5 of Outlander. Stop reading now if you haven't watched the episode. Poor Mary Hawkins. It's not enough that she was raped by a masked man in last week's episode. She's also burdened with the "friendship" of one Claire Fraser, who is quick to throw her pal under the carriage if it means ensuring the fate of Husband #1 Frank. Compared to her roaring passion with Jamie, the Frank marriage seemed lukewarm and merely a convenient way to get oral sex on command, but Claire's not about to threaten his right to be born. After the big bust-up at the dinner party, Mary's secret beau, Alex Randall, has been fired by the Duke of Sandringham and imprisoned at the Bastille under suspicion of raping Mary. Mary, whose engagement to the French aristocrat has been broken off following her attack, gives Claire a letter clearing Alex of all charges. She also confesses her desire to one day marry the Englishman. That, of course, would throw a wrench in Claire's master plan. She knows that Mary must marry and have a child with Alex's evil brother, Black Jack Randall, for Frank to exist. She contemplates tossing Mary's letter in the fire and letting Alex rot in prison. Instead, she pays him a visit following his release. Noting his persistent cough, she convinces him that he's too ill and professionally insecure to give Mary the life she deserves. He's clearly crushed, but agrees to break it off. "Thank you for your candor, Madame Fraser," he tells the woman who has just ruined his shot at true love. "Mary is fortunate to have a friend as caring as you." Oh, sweet, stupid Alex. Speaking of shady friendships, Jamie does his best to look enthusiastic when an excited Charles comes to the wine office and boasts about a money-making venture that will bring him £10,000. Unfortunately, it involves his new friend St. Germain, whom the Frasers suspect of orchestrating Claire and Mary's attack. St. Germain has a shipment of Portuguese madeira coming in, which he and Charles expect Jamie to sell for a tidy profit. The funds, Charles insists, will no doubt convince the king that his cause is worth an investment. Unsurprisingly, Jamie and St. Germain's meeting is a frosty one. Jamie all but accuses the Frenchman of attacking his wife, while St. Germain refuses to budge on the terms of the wine deal. Back at home, Claire suggests faking smallpox symptoms to sabotage the shipment. This gal's turning into quite the schemer. Before bed, she and Jamie have a touching moment. He's had his sister send a set of apostle spoons as a christening gift for their wee bairn. Claire is moved, but also fearful that she won't make a good mother. So long as she treats the baby better than she treats Mary, all should be fine.
The next day sees the couple strolling around Versailles in their finery. The Duke of Sandringham has summoned Jamie to appraise some horses for him. The duke lets it slip that he finds Charles to be an "utter arse," but seems to be challenging Jamie on his loyalty. Hmm. Claire is whisked off for a walk by Jamie's former paramour Annalise, which gives them a chance to bicker about Jamie's personality. The episode is officially turning into Mean Girls when Annalise notices a strange man looking at them. Lo and behold, it's Captain Jack Randall. Of all the royal gardens in all the world... Claire's soon left alone with her tormentor, who is so stunned by the chance encounter that he keeps rambling on about fate. Claire can't get away soon enough, but there's an issue: The king has approached. We're not sure what the 18th-century French term for "throwing shade" is, but ol' Louis' really good at it. He mocks Randall's accent, his red coat, his country's love of carnage. When Randall explains that he's in France to ask the duke to reinstate his brother, the king suggests he get down on his knees and beg. Oh, how the tables have turned. Everyone gets a good laugh and the king throws in a final dis about Randall's "pretty little britches." Respect. Jamie, who shows up in time to exchange some tense remarks about the weather, walks off with Claire, then doubles back to speak to Randall. He explains to a puzzled Claire that he has challenged Randall to a duel. Randall has accepted. Jamie and Murtagh have barely had a chance to have a huddle about said duel when Claire rushes home explaining that it's off. Randall is imprisoned in the Bastille because she has given a sworn (and false) statement that he was the one who attacked her and Mary. The men are not pleased. Claire must explain to Jamie about the connection between Frank and Mary. He's still outraged, going so far as to give her his knife so she can kill him. He has a point: Randall did rape him and make his life a living hell, after all. Claire's not in the most understanding mood, however. She plays the "I saved your life" card. "I've saved your life not once but twice," she tells him. "You owe me a life." Jamie, who could really use some sort of Selfish Spouses support group right about now, finally relents, but he's far from happy about it. He agrees to let Randall live for one year for the sake of Frank's family line. When Claire goes to embrace him, he snaps. "Do not touch me," he seethes. Uh-oh, Claire. You've done it now.