Veep Season 5, Episode 2 Recap: Everyone’s Getting Laid

When I say "banking task force" you think, uh, "sex?" Probably not, unless you're Selina Meyer, who uses that very odd euphemism to convey that she wants to get it on with Charlie Baird, the suave CEO played by none other than Roger Sterling himself, John Slattery. Selina meets Charlie at an acutal banking task force, which she commandeers from Tom James in her continued effort to look presidential. Despite the fact that Charlie supported O'Brien far more heavily than he supported Selina, the two instantly start flirting, much to the perturbation of the overly protective Gary. So, Selina implies to Ben that she'd like to have another "banking task force." Ben is quick on the uptake when she suggests bringing in Charlie again; and he isn't too thrilled with the idea. "I'm human," Selina insists. "I just sometimes need a little banking task force." (Kent is totally oblivious during this interaction.) Selina's mood gets even better when it turns out there will be a full state recount in Nevada. It's so sunny in the land of Meyer-ville that even Tom James shows up all contrite, offering to help in any way he can. "Why did Tom James just wrap up his balls in butcher paper and put them in my purse?" Selina asks. Ben informs her it's because he thinks she's going to win Nevada. So, it's with a particular spring in her step that she goes to meet Charlie. She offers him a tour of the West Wing, which turns into a tour of the private residence, which turns into sex. Gary also warms to Charlie, too, after he actually inquires about his personal life. But obviously, calamity is around the corner. O'Brien announces that Charlie may be his pick for Treasury Secretary. Selina turns to Gary: "He fucked me and then he fucked me? What is he trying to fuck me?" And sure enough, the fact that Selina and Charlie are an item gets out when Mike fumbles questions about Charlie at a press conference. In Mike's defense, he is on a "master cleanse" and Catherine replaced the mixture he was drinking with water. Oops. Selina isn't the the only member of the Veep crew getting some. This episode even gave Dan and Amy shippers a moment to linger on. But more on that in a second. When it turns out that O'Brien has recruited a hotshot to run his recount effort in Nevada, Selina gets her own, Bob Bradley, played by the great Martin Mull. It's unclear how helpful Bob actually is, but he does have some interesting institutional wisdom. For instance, Ben used to have some Jonah worthy nicknames, including "Fatty Dicksuckle" and the very simple "Buttfucker." Also, Sue was working at the White House when Bob was there in the late '80s, leading Kent to go on a quest to figure out just how old Sue actually is. Out west in Nevada, Selina's got a crack team working for her consisting of Amy, Dan, Richard, Jonah, and Cliff, a.k.a. Baby With A Beard. Their first task is recounting a sample of the state to determine if there's a discrepancy of at least 1%, which would allow for a full recount. Richard once again proves himself to be alternately very knowledgable and very dumb, accidentally helping O'Brien's team one minute and giving Selina's information they can use the next. Amy and Dan are haranguing election officials to send votes Selina's way — with a not-too-helpful contribution from the brash Roger Furlong — while Richard, Jonah, and Cliff are going door-to-door to verify voter signatures. Jonah thinks it's a good idea to wear crocodile boots to this outing, leaving him with a painful blister. Serves him right. But it all works out and they get the votes for a full recount. Dan and Amy are obviously overjoyed. When they return to their hotel that night, they discover their rooms are across from one another. Amy fumbles with her key card and Dan leans over her to help. They share a look. Is this it? Are they going to have sex? Alas, when the door opens, Amy's sister, Sophie, is there. They go out for drinks, but Amy retires early, leaving Dan with Sophie. Dan misunderstands Sophie when she says she works for CVS. He thinks she works for CBS, and, ever the striver, wants a job there. So, he goes back to the hotel with her, leaving Amy alone to text "nightcap?" over and over again. But Amy's not texting Dan. She's, somewhat inexplicably, texting Ben. "I'm in D.C.," he responds. So, sorry, Dan and Amy fans, your dreams of those two getting it on are put on hold once again. I can only assume that Amy won't be pleased one bit by Dan's tryst with her sister. Best Insult, Jonah Edition: “You are a 7-foot-7 goony-looking Lithuanian who is going to drop dead of Marfan Syndrome” — Amy, to Jonah Best Insult, Richard Edition: “What is wrong with you, you Paddington bear-looking fuck?” — Amy, to Richard Best Fact About Richard: His email is splett2@splettnet.net. Splett1 is his father. Of course it is.