Who Should — & Shouldn’t — Replace Zayn Malik?

Photo: Courtesy of Netflix.

Now that Zayn’s departure from One Direction is official,
it’s time to wipe away the tears and decide who should replace him. Not that
he’s replaceable but, you know, it’s
gonna happen sooner or later — no matter what the 1D boys say right now. They're in mourning and not thinking straight! Luckily, we're here to help.

Who Should Replace

5. Mary Lambert
Uh, because she’s awesome.
And because her half-sleeve is on point. Maybe the boys can go to her tattoo
artist from now on?

4. Joey Fatone
Although he’s not the most famous of his former boy band
bros from *NSYNC, he can still shake a leg, as per his work on Dancing with the Stars. Plus, then 1D
can also target the over-30 market.

3. Bruno Mars
He's super funky, and his hair is as cool as or (debatably)
cooler than Zayn's.      

2. Car Lashes
Who doesn’t love Car Lashes?

1. Tituss Burgess
Burgess slays on Broadway, but obviously he won our hearts
on Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt as Titus
Andromedon. If you can't picture Harry warbling "Peeno Noir," who even are you?

Who (Probably)
Shouldn't Replace Zayn

5. Danzig
He gets into too many fistfights, and his choice in kitty litter
is subpar at best.

4. Hodor
The actor who plays Hodor, Kristian Nairn, is actually a DJ,
but we mean Hodor the character. However, it would be really cute to see him
carry Harry around on his back. Hodor!

3. Gary Busey
Despite his Oscar-nominated turn in The Buddy Holly Story, he just doesn't seem like a good fit.

2. Werner Herzog
Although he would be awfully handy to have around — he
carries bolt cutters on him at all times, after all
— he's just too much of a
loner to share the spotlight.

1. Jonathan Franzen
He doesn't even user Twitter! 

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