Today, Sports Illustrated unveiled its annual Swimsuit Issue, which is on sale now, and Kate Upton is featured on three different covers. As expected, there's ample cleavage (on two out of the three shots) and even some underboob. But out of the trio of looks, not one of them is a full-fledged bathing suit. As in, something one would likely wear at a public beach or pool (without turning a lot of eyebrows or even getting kicked out). First up, there's the elaborately sequinned cropped silver blazer, worn sans a top (with a white string bikini bottom). Because why wouldn't you want to wade around in a blinged-out jacket?
Next, we have the, uh, very, very, exposed monokini, if we can even call it that. (A knitting project that's indefinitely on hiatus, perhaps? Maybe an elaborately-wrought web of dental floss? Just kidding,)
But those two cover iterations of the 2017 Swim Issue pale in comparison (if you can believe it) once you see the ensemble she wears on this cover:
Sure, some past SI Swim Issue covers have been topless, strategically-covered-up, bikini-bottoms-only affairs. But Upton's plentiful body jewellery (and nothing else)? Of course, we're all for wearing whatever makes you feel great when you're taking back the beach (and just in general). But this trifecta of covers is the most liberal interpretation of a swimsuit we've seen yet on the annual issue. And if you're suddenly inspired to test-drive the whole statement beach jewellery look after seeing Upton's, um, unusual swimsuit alternative? Oh, you brave soul. You can actually snag the exact, faux coin-laden, very jangly-looking necklace from 21HM that the model is wearing on the Swim Issue cover for just only £48, if you're so inclined. (The brand's target demo is the "chic, classy yet sexy woman," per its site.) Just don't say we didn't warn you about the potential for getting scorched when you combine skin-touching metal accessories with direct sun exposure...Ouch. You can check out Upton's spread from inside the issue, here.