Growing up, I loved The Little Mermaid. Like, love loved it. My mom was convinced we would wear out the VHS tape, I watched it so many times. Looking back, it is totally unclear to me why, of all the movies and all the princesses, Ariel was the one I latched on to. As I grew up, I found out that many of my friends had similar stories: a princess or Disney movie that they were completely obsessed with sometime between the ages of 3 and 7.
For me, that obsession manifested in wanting to also become the princess. My cousins and I practiced swimming with our legs together, and I had fantasies of having long, flowing red hair I could whip out of the water.
But just because it's been close to two decades since I've played pool mermaids, and my original VHS tape has gone the way of Goodwill, doesn't mean that Ariel, or the other princesses, have completely loosened their grip on me. I may never get to be a princess, but what if I'm able to eat like one, if only for a week?
I decided to actually try it, as best as I could. The rules? Eat like a different princess every day, basing my decisions off both what they eat on screen and where, approximately, the films take place.
I got ready for what I thought would be the best food week of my life. I was wrong. Really wrong.