For some, the fantasy started with the image of a silk gray tie. Although the prose in Fifty Shades of Grey left much to be desired (and little to the imagination), it normalized the idea of having sex while tied up. Of course, others were into bondage long before E. L. James. But the novel certainly played a big role in bringing the B in BDSM into the mainstream.
The kink can be a lot of fun — but communication is critical, Myisha Battle, certified sex and dating coach, tells Refinery29. She says that bondage play should involve “quite a bit of planning and talking through what's okay and what's not within the scene that is played out.”
In addition to talking through the details with your partner or partners, Battle also suggests asking yourself: What type of experience do I want to create? “The answer to this question will guide you toward the type of equipment you'll need, and provide you with words to communicate what you want to your partner,” she says. “For instance, do you want it to be playful, rough, or sensual? Do you want to be fully or partially restrained? Which body parts do you want to include?" Other factors to consider: Do you want to be tied up, or do you want to be the one tying? What types of bondage materials do you want to use?
Whether you're the dominant or the submissive, we're here to show you the ropes (sorry, couldn't help it). These Battle-approved positions and tips tell you everything you need to know to get started, so you won't get tied up in logistics in the bedroom.