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Mess is an inherent, unavoidable part of sex, a sign of time well-spent if you ask us. But when it comes to squirting — or female ejaculation, as it’s often referred as — there’s nothing quite like a flurried rush to grab at towels and miscellaneous fabrics to put a damper on the post-coital mood.
One person who
knows knew this struggle all too well is Rosie Rees, founder of Yoni Pleasure Palace. "It was about three years ago when I started dating my current partner and she became a squirter," Rees tells Refinery29 of her lightbulb moment. "I was just so sick of changing and washing sheets after every single sex session."
"I started searching for waterproof blankets to protect our sheets, but there was nothing worthwhile on the market," she explains. "I wanted something soft but everything I came across at adult retailers was plasticky and made a loud crinkle to the touch." Done with the mood-killing clean-ups and limited options for squirters like herself and her partner, Rees embarked on a journey to fill the gap. A six-month journey led her to her brand's game-changing squirt blankets.
Available in three sizes (small, medium and large) and an array of discreet colours to suit your space, Yoni Pleasure Palace's 100% waterproof squirt blankets are a revolution for sex. Soft and plush to the touch and reminiscent of a lush couch throw you'd find on your parents' modular couch, you'd never guess that these babies are capable of holding over a litre of liquid (no, seriously). And with one side boasting luxurious fleece and the other a smooth velvet, setting the mood won't be an issue.
Not only do these blankets protect your sheets, but they're actually designed to absorb liquid, as opposed to some waterproof fabrics that just cause it all to pool up and spill. After all, sex and experimentation should be a fun experience for all, free from the humdrum or stress of cleaning and stain anxiety.
"Simply having something waterproof underneath your body can be the peace of mind you need to be able to fully let go, release and let the floodgates open during orgasm," reads the brand's site. But it's certainly not just gushers that are getting in on the action.
"It was so unexpected. I marketed them as sex blankets but all kinds of people started tagging us. Someone even used them for when their terminally ill cat became incontinent," says Rees.
Rees also counts people who experience bladder issues, as well as those following the free-bleed movement, as fans of her innovation, which can also be used for period sex or post-pregnancy. Basically, any time you're a little concerned about ruining freshly cleaned sheets with some spillage, the squirt blanket is here for you.
So, how do you take care of a sex blanket? Well, because the idea came from the desire for low-maintenance clean-up, the blankets claim to require just that. Simply throw it into your washing machine on a cold, delicate setting — no fabric softener — and you're good to go. Then you can air dry or throw in your machine for a low tumble dry. And whether it's red wine, baby spit-up or sex juices, you can rest assured that these sturdy blankets won't stain and may even outlive most of your other sex toys, lasting up to 100 washes — and possibly even longer if cared for properly.
Now a thriving part of the business, Rees tells us that we can expect to see a lighter, summer-appropriate version made from organic bamboo soon, for when things start to heat up. But if you're eager to get your hands on one of these splash blankets right now, Rees has kindly given Refinery29 Australia readers a unique code for 15% off your purchase — just use REFINERY15 when you check out.