Stupid Cupid: 10 Anti-Valentine's Day Activities Everyone Can Enjoy

Even if you think Valentine's Day is a fluffy, fictional holiday, you might not help but feel a twinge of envy as your coworkers receive flowers and chocolates while you get…lunch. But, instead of drowning your sorrows in a bottle of vino and a tearful viewing of Ghost, get out of the house and have a little fun at one of these anti-Valentine's Day to-dos — no date required.
You could learn how to make your own bling at String A Strand in Lincoln Square. Or put yourself out there at a party to satisfy your social craving. And, in case you want to get gussied up, Sine Qua Non salon has a special hair-and-makeup package available (hello, gorgeous!). We promise, you'll have plenty of options when it comes to painting the town red — even if you're feeling a little blue.
Our Very Favorite Activity
Um, who says you have to have a date to get a snazzy piece of jewelry on Valentine's Day? At String A Strand, you can make some bling of your own. The robust SAS inventory includes hand-selected semi-precious gems, 14-karat gold filled and sterling silver findings, chains, natural coral, and vintage beads — our personal favorite. The super-knowledgeable staff (made up of in-house designers) will assist you with selecting the right materials to create one of the most personalized pieces of jewelry you'll ever own. Now that's what we call a true labor of love.
String A Strand, 1361 North Wells Street (between Evergreen Avenue and Schiller Street); 312-335-1930.
The Sexiest Way To Break A Sweat
Pole and naughty chair dancing? Yep, that's the type of workout you'll get at Flirty Girl Fitness. Seriously, what better way to beat the Valentine's Day blues than by feeling, well, sexy? Tonight, both classes are on the schedule (for $25 each) starting at 6:30 p.m. Don't worry — if you're a bit nervous, there's a bar where you can grab a little liquid courage before showtime. And hey, look at it this way: You never know when your newfound skills might come in handy.
Flirty Girl Fitness, 1325 West Randolph Street (between Elizabeth and Ada streets); 312-666-2266.
What Would Chelsea Do...
They say laughter is the best medicine, so instead of sulking, go out an have a good chuckle. You've seen Heather McDonald's snarky commentary on the "Chelsea Lately" show, but now the celebrity impersonator is taking center stage solo. The spitfire will be performing at Zanies Comedy Club tonight, February 14, as well as a few other select dates in the immediate future. The show starts at 7:30 p.m. and costs $25, plus a two-item food/drink minimum. Tix are available online at Zanies.
Zanies Comedy Club, 1548 North Wells Street (between Burton Place and North Avenue); 312-337-4027.
Who Says You Can't Get A Room?
Okay, you don't have a main squeeze to cozy-up with for a romantic getaway. You can still take a relaxing retreat with the one who has never let you down: your dog. The Hotel Monaco is offering a two-night "Puppy Love" package that includes bells and whistles, such as welcome amenities (for Fido, too), a three-course in-room dinner for both dog and owner, and a massage for both human and hound — we promise, it's not as weird as it sounds. This fur-friendly package is available through February 17 with rates beginning at $555. To book, visit the Hotel Monaco website and use rate code PUPLUV.
Hotel Monaco, 225 North Wabash Avenue (at State Street); 312-960-8500.
It's Cliche For A Reason...
Sex and the City will forever remain as a series we can watch and repeat — and still never get sick of it. If you're swinging single, live vicariously through Samantha and company with your own gal pals at Bull & Bear for a Sex and the City trivia night (back by popular demand), complete with $9 cosmos, a 25% discount on Uber town car service (Mr. Big style), and swag filled with girly goodies. If you're interested in testing your knowledge, trivia sessions start at 6 and 8 p.m. Better watch a few episodes first...
Bull & Bear, 431 North Wells Street (at Hubbard); 312-527-5973.
Endorphins, Plus A Fun Meal
Us gals tend to either eat or workout when we're feeling a bit blue — but we say, why not do both? The super-hot spin studio Flywheel in the Gold Coast has teamed up with 25 Degrees (yes, the burger place) for a V-Day special guaranteed to satisfy both the angel and the devil on your shoulder. Take any Flywheel class with a bud and you'll receive a two-for-one voucher on 25 Degrees' amazing burgers. Hey, you earned every bite.
Flywheel Sports, 710 North State Street (between Superior and Huron streets); 312-624-8485.
The Best Boozy Brunch For Your Buddies
Forget the association between lingerie and romance. Slurping Turtle is encouraging you to pair your PJs with its delicious new bento box brunch. Head into the River North restaurant on Sunday, February 17, for its first annual Valentine's Day pajama party from 10:30 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sport your favorite flannels (or silks, if you dare) and you'll receive a certificate for 50% off of your total bill, good for your next visit. The staff will also be wearing their best sleeping ware — except they won't get to take advantage of the yummy Bloody Mary and champers specials like you.
Slurping Turtle, 116 West Hubbard Street (at LaSalle Drive); 312-464-0466.
Glam It Up
If you're planning on having a night out with the girls, give yourself an extra boost by getting your hair and makeup done by a pro. Sine Qua Non salon is offering a blow-out and makeup application package for $70 (a $100 value), through Saturday, February 16. We don't know about you, but we always feel more confident with a fresh application of lipstick and bouncy tresses. Now, go get 'em girl.
Sine Qua Non, 2766 North Lincoln Avenue (between Kenmore and Seminary avenues); 773-871-2280.
Reality Dating
If only you could look back at your previous relationships as an outsider looking in. Wait — you totally can. Tonight at 9 p.m., the Annoyance Theater has its last performance of "Unscripted Romance," a cheeky play that takes audience members' real love and dating stories and turns them into a hilarious improv comedy act. We can't think of a faster way to get over a broken heart! Tickets are just $15 and are available online at the theater's website.
Annoyance Theater, 4830 North Broadway Street (between Gunnison Street and Lawrence Avenue); 773-561-4665.
A Singles Party That's Legitimately Cool
We know, we know. You hear the words "singles party" and you immediately think back to the days of the junior high dance with boys on one side and girls on the other. Well, welcome to adulthood. This no-stress, no-cheese fete at English is a simple as paying $10 to get complimentary apps, beer, and vino. Whether or not you choose to want to mix and mingle is completely up to you.
English, 444 North LaSalle Boulevard (at Hubbard Street); 312-222-6200.
Photos: Courtesy of String A Strand, Bull & Bear, and English

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