What I’m Still Learning About Balance As A Working Mom

I always knew I wanted to be a mom. Over the course of my career, I also learned how much I genuinely enjoy working. What I didn’t fully understand was how exhausting it would feel to want both — deeply — at the same time.

In one year, I got married, moved from New York City to Denver, and got pregnant. All beautiful, wanted things. And all a lot. Since then, I’ve had a second baby and added a small business on top of my freelance career. I love my girls. I love my work. I really love building something of my own. I just don’t love the feeling of being pulled in half most days.

When I had my daughters, I didn’t have paid maternity leave. As a freelancer, there was no HR department and no clear path. It was just me trying to figure out how long we could go without my income and when I realistically needed to start working again. With my first, I took more time. With my second, I was answering emails and taking on assignments about a month in. That decision didn’t feel great, but it felt necessary.

I remember wishing I had better information about what options exist for someone in my position, depending on where you live or how you work. That’s why Momcozy’s newly launched Working Motherhood Toolkit: Know Your Protections & Plan with Confidence feels meaningful. Released in recognition of International Women’s Day, it’s a comprehensive digital resource designed to help mothers navigate maternity leave, workplace pumping rights, childcare considerations, and the transition back to work with greater clarity and confidence. Developed in partnership with Moms First and WorkLife Law, the trimester-by-trimester guide outlines what to plan early in pregnancy, what to confirm before birth, and what to focus on postpartum. It also integrates tools like PaidLeave.AI to help families understand what leave and benefits they may qualify for — something I know would have made those early weeks feel far less isolating.

Before I was even “back” to work, though, my days were structured around another job: breastfeeding and pumping. I wanted to nurse both of my girls for as long as I could, even though I was nervous going into it. Quickly, I learned how special the bond can be, which mattered so much to me and deepened even more with my second. But let me tell you, feeding a child with your body is relentless. It’s the schedule, the setup, the cleaning, the constant mental math of when you last nursed or pumped and when you need to again. There were stretches where I felt like I was always either about to pump, actively pumping, or washing something related to pumping.

The only way I made it sustainable while working was by simplifying it wherever I could. I needed a pump that gave me strong, consistent output — that part was non-negotiable — but wearable styles just didn’t work well for my body. What made the real difference wasn’t changing the pump, but changing what I was wearing. A truly comfortable, hands-free pumping bra — like Momcozy’s Tencel™ Fabric Seamless Breast Pump Bra — meant I wasn’t hunched over holding everything in place while trying to answer emails.

The fabric is incredibly soft and breathable, which matters more than you realize when you’re pumping multiple times a day. Nursing and pumping come with their own built-in warmth — IYKYK — and wearing something lightweight and cooling made those long stretches far more manageable. The structured opening kept everything secure without constant adjusting, and I could type, edit, respond to clients, or outline a pitch while pumping instead of sitting completely still.

And then there was the cleanup. No one really prepares you for how constant that part is. Bottles. Flanges. Valves. Back in the sink again just a few hours after you swore you had finally cleared it. Washing everything by hand multiple times a day quietly chips away at your patience — especially when you’re already running on very little sleep.

Using a system like Momcozy’s Deep Clean Bottle Washer changed the rhythm of that for me. Instead of standing at the sink scrubbing tiny parts while mentally running through my to-do list, I could load everything in and let one cycle handle washing, drying, and sanitizing. It was almost always running — it became part of the background of our kitchen — but it saved real time and, more importantly, real mental energy. When you’re juggling work deadlines, feeding schedules, and the general chaos of early motherhood, removing even one repetitive task from your plate feels significant.

Childcare has been its own saga. We’re closer to family than we were in New York, but we don’t have grandparents around the corner popping in on a Tuesday eager to help. Early on, we pieced together part-time nanny help, which was wonderful and wildly expensive. I remember feeling constant stress over the cost — wondering if I was working just to pay for childcare so I could keep working. Short answer: kind of yes. There were days I set one of my girls in her Momcozy electric baby swing just to get through an email with two free hands. I worked during naps with their baby monitor next to my laptop, half focused on deadlines and half listening for movement. It wasn’t peaceful, nor was it particularly productive.

Now both girls are in daycare, which has helped. But daycare isn’t a cure-all. We don’t have a go-to babysitter, let alone a roster. If someone is sick, the day shifts immediately. My husband and I look at each other and decide what can move and who can absorb the disruption. We trade off the heavy lifting so the other can work, exercise, see friends, or take a breath. He is incredibly supportive. And still, I feel guilt watching him take on more when I say yes to another project. I know he wants to help — and he does — but I can see how it wears on him.

Some days I worry I’m inching toward being the mom who mostly sees her kids on the way out the door and at bedtime. I’m not there — but I’ve felt close enough to know I don’t want that to be the story. And I don’t want to give up work either. That’s the tension. I want to build my business. I want to show my girls what ambition looks like. I also want to be present enough to know the small details of their days.

I don’t tend to recognize burnout when it’s happening. Sometimes it looks like not exercising for months. Like realizing you haven’t eaten a proper meal in weeks, or tripping over mountainous piles of laundry you’re no longer sure are dirty or clean. Like feeling slightly behind in every area at once — which almost makes it harder to name.

Support, I’m learning, isn’t one sweeping fix. It builds quietly. It’s a partner who steps in without being asked and daycare that mostly works. It’s having better access to information about leave and workplace rights. It’s tools that make things a little easier — pumping bras that let you keep working, a sterilizer running in the background, a baby monitor that gives you peace of mind during naps. It’s even something as simple as shower steamers turning a rushed shower into a quick, restorative escape.

None of it removes the push and pull. I don’t feel like I’ve mastered time management as a working mom. I’m still figuring out what balance actually means for me in this season — and how to protect time with my kids and my husband while still honoring the part of me that wants to work and build something meaningful.

For now, balance looks less like perfection and more like steadiness. And some days, steadiness is enough.