The Bachelorette Cast Taylor Frankie Paul For The Mess. They Got It. So, Who’s To Blame?

Content warning: This article includes descriptions of domestic violence. Hulu’s The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives (SLOMW) started with a swinging scandal, and it may be ending with a scandal of a much more serious nature. On March 20, ABC announced that they would not air Season 22 of The Bachelorette, after video of the season’s lead, and SLOMW star Taylor Frankie Paul, attacking her ex-boyfriend, Dakota Mortensen, was released by TMZ. The thing is: Paul’s season of the hit reality dating show was set to premiere later this week on March 22…meaning the release of this video and ABC’s subsequent cancellation came a mere three days before her journey to find love. This is an unprecedented and shocking move from ABC and the fallout has been swift. 

In a statement from Disney Entertainment, who owns ABC, a spokesperson said: “In light of the newly released video just surfaced today, we have made the decision to not move forward with the new season of ‘The Bachelorette’ at this time, and our focus is on supporting the family.” 

If you’re reeling from this news, not to mention the complex and upsetting nature and specifics of the allegations, you’re not alone. The internet has been alight since allegations first surfaced earlier this week, with fans online and off calling for The Bachelorette to postpone or cancel Paul’s season. Below, everything you need to know about the controversy, and why so much of the online discourse is aiming blame in the wrong direction.

Unlike many previous Bachelor franchise leads, Paul was entering the popular dating show with star power already behind her. Since 2024, Paul has been the lead of Hulu’s The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, which follows a group of Utah-based #MomTok influencers, who came to prominence over the pandemic for sharing their daily lives — and dances — on social media during the pandemic. 

ICYMI, the show — and #MomTok — first blew up in 2022, when Paul, already then a star on the TikTok app, took to social media to share that she, her then-husband, and a group of other Mormon influencers in their group were “soft-swinging.” It was, to put it lightly, a really big deal, putting Mormonism on the pop culture map and making us all question what the heck was going on in Utah.

Earlier this week, reports emerged that Paul and her ex-partner Mortensen are part of an ongoing “domestic assault investigation” by Utah police tied to an incident at the end of February. The couple share a son, born in 2024, and Paul has two children from a previous marriage. 

While little is available regarding the currentallegations that were made, both TMZ and People reported that Mortensen has filed an order for protection against Paul, asking for temporary custody of their son and alleging Paul was physically violent with Mortensen in front of their children.  

What complicates this entire situation even more is the fact that Paul is the lead of the upcoming Season 22 of The Bachelorette. Season 4 of SLOMW followed Paul as she prepared to take on the mantle of the hit dating show — a decision made by ABC in what was clearly a bid to reinvigorate the dying franchise and bring in massive ratings. 

If anything, the initial reports of a domestic dispute, only days ahead of her season’s premiere, spoiled the upcoming season, revealing that — at least as of the end of February — Paul was most likely not with a suitor from her season.

No. This isn’t Paul or Mortensen’s first encounter with law enforcement and there have been multiple allegations of domestic violence in their relationship. In February 2023, Paul was arrested and charged with assault, criminal mischief and domestic violence in the presence of a child after a fight with Mortensen. The arrest and subsequent fall-out — caught on police bodycam footage — was shown in the very first episode of SLOMW.

Paul later struck a deal, pleading guilty to one count of aggravated assault and had the other charges dismissed. The couple’s on-and-off relationship and subsequent pregnancy, in the wake of this arrest, were chronicled throughout the first season of the SLOMW series. And because people love mess, it helped to make the show an instant hit. 

On March 19, video from this 2023 altercation was leaked by TMZ, seemingly showing Paul attacking Mortensen; eventually throwing several metal barstools at him. One of Paul’s children can be heard in the background throughout the video and close to the end of the clip can be heard yelling after Paul throws a barstool.

Not necessarily. While reports this week take aim at and show Paul’s behavior specifically, it’s important to note that the 2023 clip only shows a few minutes of footage. Meaning we don’t know exactly what occurred before or after Mortensen began recording. As many people have pointed out online, the timing of this video being leaked to the public is suspicious at best, given the proximity to Paul’s Bachelorette premiere and with rumors of an alleged custody battle between Paul and Mortensen. Not to mention SLOMW fans have seen four seasons of the couple interacting, with Mortensen exhibiting his own problematic behavior. Plus, Paul has alleged years of violent abuse at the hands of Mortensen. 

It's important to also consider similar examples of domestic violence we've previously seen where the woman is seen as the "aggressor” when she’s the one experiencing a cycle of psychological and physical abuse (see: Amber Heard and Gabby Petito).

In a statement to People magazine shortly after the video was released, a spokesperson for Paul said: “It’s sad to see the latest installment of his never-ending, desperate, attention-seeking, destructive campaign to harm Taylor without any regard for the consequences for their child. Releasing an old video, which conveniently omits context, on their son’s birthday is a reprehensible attempt to distract from his own behavior. Thankfully, the public has seen this act before and knows who he is and sadly, many will recognize this pattern of manipulation, both in his actions on the show, and from their own experiences.”  

Later that day, Mortensen released his own statement, telling US Weekly: “As anyone who has seen the video will understand, this is a deeply upsetting situation. I  am, unfortunately, used to these baseless claims about me and our relationship, which I categorically deny. I am focusing on our son and his safety, and hope that Taylor will do the same.”

When questioned about this video going public the week of Paul’s Bachelorette premiere, a spokesperson for Mortensen defended him, seemingly denying any involvement with the leak, saying that while Mortensen knew there was a possibility the video could come out, he was not going to be the one to proactively. “He kind of just lets it all happen to him, and I think he realizes with the severity of everything now that he just can't do that."

There's obviously nuance here and two things can be true. Frankie was absolutely wrong in the leaked video and needs to be held accountable for her actions, and the allegations of Mortensen's abuse also need to be taken seriously. But let's not forget that there are children involved and their safety should be the priority.

Whether or not this recent news has an impact on SLOMW long-term remains to be seen, but it’s definitely impacting the Utah #MomTok community in the immediate present. On Monday, March 19, shortly before news of the investigation into Paul and Mortensen was revealed, reports emerged that filming of Season 5 of the hit series had been put on pause. This was allegedly initiated by fellow cast members, who wanted to halt filming until Paul’s situation was sorted out. In a social media post on March 18, SLOMW cast member Mikalya Matthews addressed the pause, saying: "It was a decision that all of us girls came up with. We didn't feel comfortable filming with everything that was happening."

Initially, not much. Shortly after reports of an investigation into the former couple and the news the SLOMW was halting production, Paul appeared on Good Morning America on March 18 to promote her upcoming season of The Bachelorette. When asked about the pause in filming, Paul told GMA it had been “a heavy time to see the headlines.”

After confirmation that her season of The Bachelorette would no longer be airing, a spokesperson for Paul told The Hollywood Reporter, “Taylor is very grateful for ABC’s support as she prioritizes her family’s safety and security. After years of silently suffering extensive mental and physical abuse as well as threats of retaliation, Taylor is finally gaining the strength to face her accuser and taking steps to ensure that she and her children are protected from any further harm.”

While we undoubtedly should be talking about Mortensen and Paul’s behavior and what is clearly a toxic and extremely harmful relationship, what can’t be overlooked is The Bachelor franchise’s role in all of this. As many people have pointed out online — this messiness is exactly what the franchise was clearly looking for when they tapped Paul to be their lead. 

Not only were Paul’s initial domestic violence charges public before she was cast, but her toxic relationship patterns and clear inability to engage in a healthy relationship was as well. And so were her allegations against Mortensen. Since the premiere of SLOMW, Paul has been open about her struggles with mental health; specifically the ways in which her relationship with her birth father, and feelings of abandonment by him, have impacted harmful decision-making in relationships. 

Which isn’t to say that anyone who’s had questionable relationship patterns in the past should be disqualified from finding love in the future, but does mean that if that person is still entrenched in toxic behaviour, putting them in an environment where they’re forced to date 30 different men probably isn’t going to help. And that’s probably the point. As writer Kathryn VanArendonk wrote in a piece for Vulture about the controversy, entering her experience on The Bachelorette, Paul was clearly not ready to take part in the experience with “an open heart,” sleeping with ex Mortensen the night before she left for filming the series, as was documented in the Season 4 finale of SLOMW.  ABC producers would have known that, and inarguably bet on that adding to ratings — with clearly little care for the impact that would have on Paul and those around her. 

As former Bachelorette lead Charity Lawson noted in a TikTok video shortly after the news of an investigation into Paul was revealed, "You would think that's almost common sense at this point, but we as a society have really normalized enjoying/ridiculing chaos and confusion over essentially prioritizing and celebrating healthy examples of love and what someone who is emotionally available for love should represent.”

And inarguably, leaning into the chaos is what the franchise was doing — because they’ve done it before. Whether intentional or a case of bad screening, The Bachelor and Bachelorette have been known for casting unhealthy, and potentially dangerous, contestants in the past. In 2024, it was revealed that Devin Strader, a contestant and the eventual winner of Jenn Tran’s season of The Bachelorette had a restraining order filed against him in 2017. When The Golden Bachelorette aired later that summer, people online discovered two contestants with restraining orders against them. As Lawson aptly pointed out in her TikTok video, increasingly, it’s becoming clear that the mental health of contestants is being compromised for ratings. 

It also shouldn’t be overlooked that ABC stayed silent on the most recent allegations against Paul until the 2023 video was released on March 19. And we seriously have to ask, would that have been the case — or any of this even been a thing — if someone who wasn’t a white woman like Paul had a similar history?  

In many ways, this feels like The Bachelorette and ABC bit off more than they were bargaining for — with pretty devastating consequences.