Olympia Provisions

Salami Bouquet

$59.99
At Man Crates
That's Salami! When the moon in the sky looks like meat that's been dried -- That's salami When the waves of the sea smell of charcuterie -- That's salami When your feelings are true and "just flowers" won't do -- That's salami When your love for your hub leads to five tasty chubs -- That's salami! Don't get us wrong, we're pro flowers! Flowers produce honey which makes the world and BBQ wings that much sweeter. Without flowers, the Rose Parade would just be another LA morning traffic jam. But rarely will flowers woo a man. Some men are literally colorblind to the beauty of a bouquet. Other guys just aren't turned on by being handed yet another thing to try to keep alive. Since fresh-cut flowers don't cut it for men, we've made some delicious improvements to the traditional bouquet. The Salami Snackphrodisiac We began with the classic flower bouquet, then taste-tested and replaced every flower that wasn't of sufficient flavor with chunks of seasoned charcuterie. Before we knew it, all the flora was gone and five 8 oz. sticks of full-flavored salami remained. Success. These seasoned salami sticks are attached to stems, wrapped as a bouquet, and hidden inside a boring, cliche flower box that can be delivered anywhere for a private or public declaration of delicious affection. It's a sensual salami surprise that is sure to kickstart full-scale romance. When he peels back the wrap and his heart gives a clap -- That's salami When the smell makes him drool like a love-bitten fool -- That's salami When there's oil on your skin and a flirtatious grin -- That's salami When the mood is just right and you snack through the night -- That's salami!