"My first husband had an affair after eighteen years of marriage. So I made this one wait nineteen years before I married him."
It's a simple quote, said by an elderly woman photographed sitting next to her husband for the popular photography project Humans Of New York. But the statement has struck up a debate in the comments section, with some people claiming it was unfair to make her second husband wait due to the sins of another man and some praising her for knowing what she wants and sticking to it.
Not surprisingly, a majority of the people criticizing the woman for not trusting her new husband are men.
"So he paid 19 years for a sin he didn't commit!? Smh even old people playing games," a man named Woodley wrote.
"So he had to wait 19 years because of someone else's mistake!? I'd be careful if I was him ! She is clearly a control freak and he will pay the price......in fact he already has," wrote a guy named Paul.
But women are sticking up for the woman in this post, and pointing out that if there is a "victim" here, it's her.
"She said she made him wait 19 years for marriage - not sex. Or even to live together," a woman named Kelly wrote. "The 'poor man' could also leave any time he wanted. No-one is the victim here."
Other women who had also discovered that their partners had an affair started sharing their own stories of learning to love again. And many of them made the same decision to wait for marriage as did the woman in this photo.
As these responses show, finding out a spouse had an affair can easily break someone's ability to trust another partner, and it can take a long time to heal. Many choose to never marry again, or are wary of getting too committed to a new relationship too soon — and that's totally fine.
This woman didn't make her second husband pay for someone else's mistake. She didn't punish him. As one commenter wrote, he could have broken up with her if he wasn't willing to wait for marriage.
The fact that he didn't proves to many of the commenters that their marriage is strong and loving.
"What a beautiful act of love," one person wrote. "To willingly wait 19 years for the love of your life to completely trust you--Not because of something you did, but because of another person's negative action(s). I'd say by the look of things-- it was worth the wait!"
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