Andy Cohen is the reigning patriarch of petty and the headmaster of housewives. When he’s not stirring the drama pot with Bravo’s reality starts on Watch What Happens Live, he’s spilling tea about Taylor Swift’s beef with Katy Perry in his new tell-all book, Superficial: More Adventures from the Andy Cohen Diaries. For celeb gossip aficionados like me, Cohen is the gift that keeps on giving. Today he was the guest on the “Allegedly” podcast, hosted by Matthew Cole Weiss and Theo Von and their banter took some naughty turns. Let’s just say that even Cohen’s hypothetical gossip is juicy. Von and Weiss ask Cohen if he would hook up with Justin Bieber and his answer was a resounding, “Yes!” He had some supporting points, too. “I think he’s really pretty. And I like how smooth he is, not a lot of body hair,” Cohen explained. “I saw the d*ck pic and I think he’s got a nice kind of adult-sized penis which looked good.” The fact that Cohen is 26 years Justin’s senior didn’t come up. Not that we expected it to, this is Hollywood after all. So who wouldn’t Cohen hop in bed with? He told the hosts that threesome with Kim and Kanye is “too much.” But he did humor them with a round of F**k, Marry, Kill: Kardashian Edition. Here were his picks: F**k: Kim (And sell the tape. His words) Marry: Khloé Kill: Kourtney Same.