29 Questions With My Partner

photographed by Lauren Perlstein.
Around 10 years ago, I was 16 and an enthusiastic member of my church youth choir (I promise it was cool). At the time, the only things that really mattered to me were playing music, listening to music, and my family. Boys weren't high on my priorities; so I didn’t bother.
Fast-forward two years, and I'm head over heels for the choir's pianist. We were friends for a while, our mutual love of music eventually bringing us closer together. He once drove past me listening to Rufus Wainwright and I thought, Yep, he's a bit of me. Until then, he was just the dashing, very funny guy who had a car – I could not have predicted that eight years down the line, we’d be getting married.
Our relationship thus far has been incredible. As well as all the lols, together we have conquered plenty of difficult situations, successfully tackled long distance, and moved flats without hiring a van (that in itself has the potential to end a relationship). He is a legend and I’m very much looking forward to the rest of my life with him.
Getting married is something ahead of us to enjoy and (other than my Pinterest boards) I’ve been making sure I focus on and appreciate this new and exciting chapter of our partnership. I really hope we last as a couple as I don't think there is anyone else out there willing to put up with me! As it’s going so well currently, what better time to ask him 29 personal, intimate and insightful questions about our relationship?
1. Describe how we met.
We first met in a church at mass. You were singing in the choir and I played the piano.
2. What did you think when you first met me?
You seemed quiet, thoughtful and interesting. I knew I'd enjoy spending time with you.
3. What do you think initially attracted me to you?
I was a bit older, could drive and had a car. My ability to play the piano probably helped a bit too.
4. When did you think this could become something serious?
Second weekend of September 2010.
5. What are my best traits?
Your ability to feel what others are feeling and respond to that. Your cracking sense of humour; your determination and your humility.
6. And my worst?
You cannot under any circumstances go to sleep on an argument. Sometimes I just really don't want to talk things through.
7. Have you ever considered breaking up with me?
8. What's the biggest thing you've learned from being with me?
That talking things through is actually a good idea.
9. When did you decide you wanted to propose?
The first weekend of November 2017. In a barber shop.
10. In your opinion, what does the future hold for us?
An awful lot of laughs and a huge amount of love.
11. Are there any similarities between me and your ex?
Yes. You both have a kind heart and a lovely singing voice.
12. If you could change anything about me, what would it be?
You wouldn't have such a negative view of your appearance.
13. Can you honestly see us being together forever?
Yes, absolutely I can.
14. In your opinion, what’s the best thing about us as a couple?
We are never bored in one another's company. I'm always excited to see you no matter how mundane the circumstances. And I think you feel the same about me. I think.
15. And the worst?
We tend to leave everything until the last minute.
16. Do you have any secrets you've kept from me?
Yes. You haven't asked what they might be though, so they'll remain secret.
17. What would you say my main passion in life is?
Making people feel good about themselves. Plus drinking, dancing and threatening to take your clothes off in public places while drinking and dancing. Sometimes actually taking your clothes off in public places.
18. How would you describe our sex life?
Will your dad be reading this?
19. What is your proudest moment in our relationship?
When you sang at your grandad's funeral.
20. What have I changed about you?
I look more presentable. I get up earlier at weekends. I'm more punctual than I was.
21. What have you changed about me?
You get up later at weekends. You're not as punctual as you were. You're a more nervous flyer.
22. What did your friends think of me at first?
They thought you were an absolute delight.
23. What do they think of me now?
Well, they all fancy you. They still think you're a delight and they have tremendous respect for you as a person. There is also a consensus among my friends that every party needs you.
24. What is your favourite date we’ve had together?
I'm not sure what constitutes a date these days. I always thought that a date could only happen before a couple become an established relationship. Now people talk about 'date night', where two people already in an established relationship go out on a date together. We don't really do that, do we? We go out a lot together but we don't call it 'date night'. On our first official 'date' we spent over two hours driving around to different towns/restaurants as you couldn’t decide what you wanted to eat. That will stay with me (has scarred me) for life.
25. What are you looking forward to most in our relationship?
Settling into a house with you and building the life we have talked so much about.
26. What is your favourite memory from our relationship so far?
I have two. The trip to Iceland and proposing to you.
27. What is your favourite thing about my appearance?
You're just generally very fit but if I had to choose it would be your shoulders.
28. Do you ever worry about being faithful to me?
Yes. Not because I have any desire to be unfaithful but because I know that it's a possibility in any relationship. The thought of letting you down to that extent terrifies me. The thought of losing you terrifies me even more.
29. Do you ever worry about me being faithful to you?
No. I know it's a possibility as it is with anyone but I wouldn't say it worries me.