You Didn’t Have To Be In Bondi For It To Hurt

On the first night of Hanukkah, beneath the quintessential glow of a Sydney summer evening, globally beloved and iconic Bondi Beach turned from a scene of joy to one of terror. Families and friends had gathered for a festive beachfront celebration, lighting the menorah and singing songs, when gunfire shattered the laughter. Two gunmen, a father and son armed with rifles, opened fire on the crowd, killing at least 15 people (including a child) and injuring dozens more. One attacker was shot dead by police, and the other was wounded and arrested amid the chaos. Australian authorities swiftly declared it a terrorist attack motivated by antisemitic hatred, an assault on the Jewish community that Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has said “struck at the heart of the nation”. What should have been a night of light and hope became Australia’s worst mass shooting in nearly 30 years.

The next morning, Bondi’s sands lay empty and silent, an unheard-of phenomenon for one of the most popular shorelines in the country, save for investigators pacing the cordoned-off area. Since then, the stories and the heroism of bystanders who tried to stop the shooters have dominated headlines. Yet the impact of this attack cannot be measured only in lives lost or injuries. Its shockwaves have rippled far beyond those who stood on the sand that night; the tragedy has seared itself into the psyche of people around the world, including many who were nowhere near Bondi Beach when it happened.

Not even in the hours after the attack, but during, phones pinged with news alerts across Australia and overseas. Many who read the headlines or watched grainy and graphic videos felt a chill of grief and fear. It didn’t matter that they were seeing it through a screen; their hearts broke, and their fear was felt in real time. In Sydney, thousands gathered at vigils the next day, mourners at Bondi laid flowers, and sang prayers under the open sky. Similar tributes appeared in other cities, in Melbourne, in London outside the Australian High Commission, and beyond, a sign that the world was mourning with Bondi.

“Collective trauma can impact how we view the world and how we see ourselves in it — the social norms and security we were used to are challenged, making us feel unsafe and unsure, and grieving the world we understood,” explains Mental Health Therapist Tammi Miller.

According to Principal Psychologist at Umeed Psychology, Anushka Phal, this reaction is a form of collective trauma or vicarious trauma. “Humans don’t exist in isolation; we’re part of communities,” Phal describes this as identity-based trauma: “For people with histories of trauma, chronic stress, racism, gender-based violence, or migration stress, the nervous system is already primed to ask: Am I safe? Am I next? The body doesn’t treat it as ‘news’ — it treats it as confirmation.” She adds: “Even secondhand exposure can activate the threat system — particularly in a 24/7 media environment. The nervous system doesn’t respond to logic; it responds to danger cues, which can show up as hypervigilance, irritability, flatness, grief, and even physical symptoms.”

Decades of research on vicarious traumatisation show that people can develop stress symptoms from simply hearing about or seeing footage of violent events. Our brains, in a sense, replay the horror as if we were there. One study even found that individuals with no prior trauma who watched distressing news reports showed symptoms of secondary traumatic stress, such as anxiety, nightmares, and feelings of helplessness. In the case of the Bondi attack, it brutally resonated far and wide – from the Jewish community in Sydney to anyone who has ever set foot on Bondi.

As Rachel Tomlinson, a Sydney-based therapist (and one of many professionals volunteering at community support sessions this week), points out: “Trauma is processed through the nervous system first, not the thinking brain. That’s why people feel sick, shaky, or disconnected — the body is responding to a perceived threat even before we can name the emotion.”

She continues, “Even indirect exposure — like media — can activate this system. Freeze or dissociation responses are just as real as panic. You might feel emotionally flat, stuck, or spaced out. It’s a survival response, not weakness.”

1. Mental health experts emphasise that your feelings are valid. Even if you were not physically present. There’s no need to say, “I wasn’t there, so I shouldn’t be this upset.” Grief, anger, fear, outrage, and numbness, all of these are natural responses. “Give yourself permission to feel whatever comes,” advises Anushka Phal. “Don’t bottle it up just because you weren’t at the scene. You’re human, and at our core, humans care about each other.” Acknowledging the pain is a first step to healing. That might mean talking to friends or family about how the news affected you, or writing down your thoughts in a journal. Some find comfort in attending vigils or religious services to honor the victims, as coming together in solidarity can ease the sense of powerlessness. Others might light a candle at home or say a prayer as a personal act of remembrance.

2. Limiting media exposure is another important coping strategy. While it’s natural to seek information after a traumatic event, endlessly scrolling through graphic images or videos can retraumatise you. "Being unable to control when or what imagery you see following an event like the Bondi attack can make it difficult to self-regulate,” says Miller. “Repeated exposure can trigger a stress response — difficulty sleeping, irritability, trouble concentrating. It’s important to remember that you are safe in these moments, to look around you and name three things you can see, touch, feel, practise deep breathing and centering, and definitely to seek support from a confidant or trained mental health professional.”

3. Connecting with others is crucial in these times. The Bondi Beach community has exemplified this – within 24 hours, thousands of people gathered to comfort one another, sing together, and remind themselves that they are not alone. Whether you attend a local vigil or simply call a friend to talk, sharing your feelings can lighten the emotional load. Sometimes just hearing someone say “I feel it too” can be profoundly validating. If your distress persists or feels overwhelming, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. Therapists are aware that indirect trauma is real and can help you work through it. There is no shame in seeking help; it doesn’t matter that “it didn’t happen to me,” what matters is that it affected you, and getting support is a sign of strength, not weakness.

4. Finally, it can be healing to channel your emotions into positive action. Donate to a victims fund. Support crisis lines like Lifeline, which are seeing a huge surge in calls and will continue to through the holidays. Volunteer your time if you have capacity — or if you don’t, drop off a meal, check in on a friend, walk someone home. Acts of care don’t need to be big to matter. They just need to happen.

In the days since the attack, the golden sands of Bondi have been blanketed with flowers, candles, and handwritten messages. Strangers hug each other on the promenade, united in grief. The air carries the mingled scents of saltwater and candle wax as the sun sets each evening over a beach that is healing from trauma seen and unseen. The emotional wounds from that night will take time to mend, and some scars may never fully fade. But amid the sorrow, there is a steadfast resolve that the forces of hatred will not break the spirit of the community.

For anyone struggling with heavy emotions after this tragedy, know that you are entitled to those feelings, they speak to your empathy, and that with time and support, the fear and anguish can evolve into strength and meaning.

Mental Health Support (NSW):
- Walk-in help available daily at Intercontinental Coogee (8am - 8pm).
- Safe Haven at Sydney Children’s Hospital for young people (10am - 7:30pm).
- NSW clinicians are also on the ground at Bondi and Coogee; look for bright vests.

Helplines:
- Lifeline: 13 11 14
- NSW Mental Health Line: 1800 011 511
- Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636
- Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800

Find A Psychologist:
- Tala Thrive: A directory that helps you find culturally responsive and trauma-informed therapists across Australia.
- Australian Psychological Society: The largest peak professional body for psychologists and psychology in Australia. 
- Check with your GP: Many psychologists can only be accessed with a mental health care plan referral, which allows you to claim Medicare rebates.
- University Clinics: If cost is a barrier, psychology clinics at universities often offer low-fee sessions with provisional psychologists under supervision.