Why Hasn't Heidi Klum Ever Been On A Vogue Cover? An Investigation.

Out of all of the hobbies out there assigned to little boys, when I was younger, I opted for something a little less gendered. Something a little more...chic. Pokémon cards? Nah. Tee-ball? Hard pass. Collecting enough Vogue covers to amass an entire archive? Hell to the yeah.

In my gathering of magazines as if they were trading cards, I've learned a few things: Certain celebrities are only shot by Mario Testino; when all else fails, photograph clothing in a garden; oh, and that Heidi Klum, supermodel and Project Runway & X Factor star, has never been featured on the cover of Vogue. Let's discuss.

In 1999, Klum was shot by Steven Meisel for Vogue's May issue alongside fellow supermodel Carmen Kass. Kass was on the cover that month; Klum was not. And while my fellow Vogue connoisseurs may try to counter my findings by raising the point that editor-in-chief Anna Wintour is more known for putting celebrities on the covers, thus revoking the opportunities for models, they'll also remember that, back then, the Supers were celebrities.

As early as 1996, Vogue started selling more copies than ever with its increased placement of actors and musicians on its covers, yes. But usually around November, a crop of five or more models would grace the American edition of the glossy, illustrating the past, present, and future of fashion. "Real women," as they called them — Hutton and Tree, to Evangelista, Crawford, Campbell, and Turlington, to Moss, Murphy, and Bündchen, to Kebede, Kurkova, Vodianova, and Ellison, to the Instagram girls of today. Everyone, except Heidi Klum.

Throughout her career, Klum has covered Vogue Paris, Vogue Germany, Vogue Spain, Vogue Italia, Vogue Portugal...the list goes on. She's also appeared on dozens of other titles. Let's count 'em: LIFE, Glamour, GQ, Cosmopolitan, W, Marie Claire, Harper's Bazaar, Elle, Shape, Good Housekeeping, Redbook, Lucky, InStyle, and more. Every magazine, except Vogue.

So what gives? I've tried my damnedest to confirm the above inquiries via insane Reddit chains, the forum section on The Fashion Spot, vintage fashion Instagram accounts, Tumblr (obviously), and reverse searching on Google Images. What's also worth a head scratch is how much coverage Klum receives on the digital version of the American edition, where .com editors follow her every side project, Halloween party, and red carpet look. When they'll consider the model mogul for the cover is yet to be determined, but I'm set on making it happen.

Unless a cover was slashed on the cutting room floor, or there's one hiding in the depths of the internet, I hereby stake my claims that Klum is still owed her moment on the cover of America's most storied magazine. Does anyone know if any of Wintour's assistants accept carrier pigeon? Because I think it's time to write a letter.