The Funniest Things I Overheard At Burning Man 2017

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For the 70,000 temporary citizens of Burning Man, it's been a whirlwind nine days of everything from soul searching to debauchery and everything in between. The city played host to hundreds of art installations and spectacular art cars pumping out tunes all day and night, while talks covered subjects from blockchain to BDSM. As revellers return from experiencing the craziest of dust storms, we give you a collection of the most interesting snippets we overheard at Black Rock City, or the playa, this year...
“This vegan blunt paper sucks the mean dick.”
“Do you want a spank and a slice of pizza?”
“Hey. I got high on mushrooms today – fancy sharing a cannabis strip with me?”
“She's totally basic.”

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“Have you heard of Yacht Week? When I partied on a yacht there I ended up joining a couple of strangers for a threesome.”
“How is your nose clean? Mine's like broccoli up there.”
“Did you have a fun time last night?”
“Yes, I did LSD and now I'm going to go home.”
“Your chakras vibrate more on the playa.”
“Have you ever squirted? A guy showed me the technique to make a girl squirt. I've tried it twice since and it really works.”
“Wow. I can't believe I'm actually out at 5am. I'm so crazy.”
“You British girls are much more intelligent than the average American girl.”
“I need to check this MDMA isn't just dust from the playa.”
“Get yourself to the airport tomorrow. My millionaire neighbour is gifting helicopter flights over the playa.”
“Look, don't laugh but I had a little spillage when I peed. I've put on this sarong – there's nothing on underneath. Want to have a look?”
“Can I give you some advice? You don't want your girlfriend to be asking for drugs. Everyone knows the police have hot girls as undercover cops. You'd be better asking yourself.”
“I love threesomes but I haven't had one for a while - it's been at least a few years. But I do love them.”

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“Can we be friends? I feel a real connection with you. I think we just had a soul connection.”
“Who here loves touching themselves?”
“I'm lucky I really love myself.”
“I consider myself a nomad but I've also become part of the playa.”
“Can you just flick my ball back in the holder?”

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