Warning: This recap contains major spoilers for Season 6, episode 2 of Schitt’s Creek.
Well, I did not see this storyline coming. I would have predicted Moira Rose winning an Oscar for directing The Crows Have Eyes 3 before I guessed that Schitt’s Creek would do an entire bit on David wetting the bed. Yes, in the opening scene of season 6, episode 2 of Schitt’s Creek, David Rose pees his pyjama pants while he’s sleeping beside his fiancé, Patrick. The gag felt almost too absurd — even for a show that has Catherine O’Hara caw-caw-ing like a crow on the regular — but in true Schitt’s Creek fashion, they pulled it off.
Patrick’s reaction to David’s accident is adorably on brand (measured, compassionate, too pure and good for this world) and David’s unreasonable declaration that they should get a divorce before they get married is also what we’ve come to expect. “We must never see each other again,” David says while still wrapped in his urine-soaked bedspread. Ew, David. Where’s Alexis when you need her?
Alexis is too busy to “Ew, David” this situation. She’s playing publicist for Moira, who needs to promote her movie. The Crows Have Eyes is to Schitt’s Creek what Sharknado is to the real world — if there’s a terrible trailer and thousands of people cracking jokes on Twitter about it, that’s promotion enough. But in this reality, Moira is doing a social-media takeover of the movie’s account. Alexis decides she’ll post on her mom’s behalf. “Trust me, I’ve dated enough mid-level latte art influencers to know what the people want,” Alexis says. Moira isn’t convinced: “You and I have very different comedic stylings my dear; I take a slightly more cerebral approach.” Annie Murphy and Catherine O’Hara do have very different comedic approaches, and together, they are perfect. Murphy’s embellished valley girl mannerisms and O’Hara’s wacky Moira-isms work in tandem — as soon as you’re done laughing at one, the other jumps in to get you giggling again. I love this duo. And only O’Hara could nail the line, “I think we might need to buy some antibiotics.” Dramatic pause. “I believe we’ve just gone viral.”
After some awkward back-and-forth with our resident lovers David and Patrick, we find out that David’s bladder problem happens when he gets too excited. Moira tells Patrick she thinks David’s “nighttime oopsy daisy” was caused by pre-wedding jitters. It’s a cute and rare one-on-one moment between Patrick and Moira, but it feels a little forced until we discover Moira accidentally livestreamed the entire thing. (Moira is obsessed with sharing everything with her new Internet friends — pronounced “frawnds” to Moira, of course. Her favourite “frawnd” is “Wine and Cat Gal 74” which I’m assuming is spelled wineandcatgal_74.) Hijinks ensue! Don’t worry, David never finds out the whole world heard his mom talking about his weak bladder to his future husband. It’s a good thing because I wouldn’t put it past David to go all Joe from You on the whole town. The only thing stopping him at this point is his undying love for Patrick and the fact that David would probably rather die than wear one of those ratty baseball caps Joe wears as a disguise while doing shady shit. David’s polka dot wool sweater isn’t very incognito.
Speaking of shady shit, this episode’s B plot brings Johnny, Roland, and Stevie together to… crash a funeral. Something about buying another motel and Roland’s shoddy hearing. Whatever. I found myself wishing for #moreMoira as this meandering side story unfolded. It was a lot of exposition to get us to the point that Stevie doesn’t want to be in business with Johnny and that she’s probably going leave her gig at the Rosebud, as I predicted last week. The most interesting part of this plot is that Roland looks like he had some time with Queer Eye’s Fab Five. I think this is the first time in the show’s history that this man isn’t wearing a plaid shirt and a trucker hat. Now I’m obsessed with making that crossover happen. Is it too late to get Jonathan Van Ness a guest spot? Roland’s mullet needs a shape up!
The final scene of the episode, with David and Patrick in bed, is its most intimate and grounded moment. It’s also a delightful reminder of why this show is so important. Patrick finally reveals to David that he sleeps with a mouthguard and a weird nose thing. He’s trying to make his partner feel less embarrassed about his own quirks. What plays out is relatable banter between a couple still in their honeymoon phase. It’s normal and sweet. As it should be.
Other Things We Gave A Schitt About This Episode
Who Was The Schitt?
David Rose. Any actor who can pull off an “I PEED MY PANTS” storyline deserves credit. I’ll also give him points for style (see polka dot sweater) and the way he delivered this line to Moira re: her social media addiction: “Can you please turn that off? You look like the downfall of society.”
Best Pre-Schitt Name Drop
Any reference to Moira’s past acting career is *chef’s kiss* — but I literally paused the episode to laugh for a full two minutes when she said, “we have our very own digital soap box. It reminds me of the Nickelodeon pilot I did in which Ashley Tisdale and I played suffragettes. You remember You Go Girl.”
A Moment for Moira’s Wigs
WHERE WERE MOIRA’S BABIES? More wigs next episode, please.
— Give it up one time for my girl Ronnie who, when Moira takes a group pic, says, “Fine, but nothing gets posted without my written approval.” This is my weekly petition to give Ronnie more screen time.
— Don’t Roland and Jocelyn have a new baby? Roland Moira Schitt has disappeared since his birth. Sure, babies aren’t that funny on their own, but Roland and Jocelyn co-parenting is. Put them back in, coach!
— This is the second episode in a row where the Rose Four (Alexis, David, Johnny, and Moira) have not been together. I’m sure they are saving the good stuff for the final episodes, but I need a Season 1-style Rose family hang ASAP.
— I miss Ted. That’s it. That’s the sentence.