Let’s be real: No matter who you are, you have an opinion on the sex act 69. You might think it's hot as hell. Or maybe it makes you feel vulnerable. After all, you've just climbed on top of another person. You're giving and receiving oral simultaneously. A lot is happening. Your line of sight is in pretty personal territory.
One woman I spoke to said: “It’s not as hot as having the other person focus fully on you or vice versa. It always felt like so much going on, and I couldn’t fully enjoy it.”
Another person argued: “Like most things with sex, if you’re both open to it and you communicate, it can be really great.”
"It's hit or miss for me," a third woman told me. “With guys sometimes I feel like I’m choking on dick, but with girls it can be fun to be getting pleasure at the same time.”
Myisha Battle, a certified sex and dating coach, tells Refinery29 that she's generally a fan of 69-ing — so called because it looks like the 6 and the 9 are, well, 69-ing. “There’s something very freeing about being able to give and receive pleasure at the same time for many people," she says. "In many cases, it can make you feel closer to your partner, especially if you’re in a long-term relationship where one person might feel they’re doing more of the heavy lifting in terms of giving [oral]. This creates this pleasure loop that can be really exciting for both people.”
It's also inclusive. It can be done with a penis and a vagina, a vagina and a vagina, or a penis and a penis. As Battle puts it: “As long as you have genitals, you can 69.” So if you're 69-curious — or a die-hard fan with a new boo — be sure to ask your partner if they're down before trying to get in position. If they say yes, then check out this guide to get some ideas on how to have a successful session.