Do The MAFS Experts Really Match The Couples? Alessandra Rampolla Answers The Big Question

Every year on Married At First Sight (MAFS), there are couples who seem mismatched. From this year's groom, Luke Fourniotis, who has an extremely awkward relationship with Mel Akbay, to Cody Bromley, who declared he wasn't into Selina Chhaur because of her ethnicity, it can make you wonder why the experts have made these pairings. Fans of the show are led to believe that relationship experts Mel Schilling, John Aiken and sexologist Alessandra Rampolla are the driving force behind the matches, but Alessandra tells Refinery29 Australia that's not exactly how it works. Alongside the three experts, there's a separate casting team and producers steering the ship.

"I give my opinion, but it's not entirely up to me. It's three of us, and there's an entire team, and there's a casting process that goes on that is a part of production [which] has nothing to do with us as experts," Alessandra says. "I give my opinion, and I make my cases, but it's not always ultimately what I would personally choose, and that's okay, because it's a team effort."

However, she does reiterate that the MAFS casting process is still thorough and in theory, the pairings should be successful. After all, it helps Channel Nine to have long-lasting couples like Rhi Disljenkovic and Jeff Gobbels to publicise the show. "There's always good foundational arguments to why they are matched, because it does have to do with the theories of what should work and it is an experiment," she says. "Not all the matches, I, Alessandra, personally think would be the people that I would match up 100% [but] I'm really happy with the process and the way that it turns out."

As part of the process, Alessandra chats with many participants to gather intel, which helps inform the final decision. A big part of this is figuring out their sexual compatibility, something we are already seeing is an issue with Bec Zacharia and Danny Hewitt. "Early on, [sex] is the first thing that I specifically get into. It's funny, because sometimes it's like, 'Oh, hi, nice to meet you. And [now] we're having the sex talk'," she jokes. "Understanding what they're looking for and how they envision sexuality in a long-term relationship, and as part of the matchmaking process, that is a lot of what I bring to the table. Very specifically, I will try to have people who, if they get along well enough to want to get physically intimate with one another, I'm hoping they have common ground to want to play in the same kind of areas, so to speak."

While some of the MAFS couples aren't who the experts would "personally choose" to put together, Alessandra explains that it actually makes the experiment more realistic. In her job as a therapist, the expert encounters couples who are not compatible on paper, but she uses her tools and knowledge to help them build a stronger relationship. "Once they're matched, it's really about accompanying them on the journey, [just like] regular life," she says. "Maybe they're not great matches, maybe they are, but they're having conflict, and you still go through the journey of walking them through their conflict and helping them get through it."

The experts have a regular MAFS couch session with the cast each week, but other than that, they can sometimes be relatively hands-off during the experiment. However, Alessandra says there's an "open door" for participants to come and chat with her about sexuality. "[Having] somebody here who actually specialises in this, and you can't think of a romantic, long-term relationship without including the aspect of intimacy, emotional intimacy and physical connection through sexuality, so I think it's important in that sense," she adds. "I think [having me on the show] lends the credibility and importance that sex actually has in romantic relationships, and the possibility to discuss it. And this year, we absolutely discuss it."