A Note To Kreayshawn: It’s Time To Update Your Fashion References

And there it is. Less than a month after releasing her fashion-centric
single “Gucci Gucci” on YouTube (and getting over two-million hits in
the process), Oakland-based rapper Kreayshawn has inked a record deal
worth a reported $1 million with Columbia Records. First things first:
props to Kreayshawn. It’s not an easy industry to break into,
especially if you’re a lady. And now a note of advice to Kreayshawn:
If you really want to show us that you have swag “pumping out my
ovaries” (Kreayshawn’s words, not ours), how about switching up those
tired fashion references in your famed hit? Your prized lyrics state: “Gucci Gucci, Louis Louis, Fendi Fendi, Prada / Basic bitches wear
that shit so I don't even bother.” And while we get your point (You
are so freakin’ awesome you don’t need fabulous labels to prove it!),
we don’t think many in-the-know fashion folks (besides Lil Kim or
Carrie Bradshaw, circa 1999) that still think wearing Fendi logos (or
some of those other monograms) is really that cool anymore. In fact,
just mentioning these four powerhouse labels as if they are the holy
grail of fashion today seems kind of, well, basic. And we know that's
the last thing you want to be, Kreayshawn! Instead, take a page from
the Book of Kanye, a dude who went from basic (bragging about Ralph
Lauren pink polos) to undeniably swag-tastic (tweeting about his pals
Raf and Phillip) as his success steadily went up, up, and away. How
can you get to his no-one-can-touch-me level? We’re thinking an
insider-y remix might do the trick (“Proenza Proenza, Krakoff Krakoff,
Vena Cava, Wang...”) along with losing that reference to “Flossin’
like Ivana Trump.” Hmmm, maybe more like Daphne Guinness? That’s soooo
much more cool and she's also super, super rich, Kreay-Kreay! On the
other hand, those sequined Minnie Mouse ears? Keep ‘em. They look
great on you.