To understand my story, you need to know about Debra. She's more than my adopted mum — I parented her more than she parented me. Sure, she provided food, shelter, things like that, but other than that we were like best friends along for the ride.
[She] turned around and her ass was huge and amazing, and I was so jealous.
Debra dropped me off and went to the mall. I walked into the back room and it was the doctor, her nurse, and her daughter — who I think was an apprentice or something. They asked me to pull my pants down, and they sat there talking in Spanish about my ass. I understood a few words here and there.
'Hurt' is not the word for what I felt once they started injecting this substance into me.
For a while, my bum was numb and I was really sore for weeks. They told me not to expose the area to really high heat for a while, not to turn on my heated seats in my car, or go to a tanning bed. Even though I can feel the stuff inside, you can't feel it by touching my butt; it's like it was injected under the muscle.
The worst thing those first few years, besides the pain and numbness, was that I told people. I was a small-town boy and my first job in a big city was with a bunch of gossip-y fashion girls. I thought I could trust them the way I trusted my friends back home, but all of a sudden everyone knew.
The truth of the matter is I have no fucking idea what is inside my body...it's terrifying.
Everything was great for years, but then my body started to change. As I got older, I gained weight and the fat on my bum sort of formed around the filled area so that there is a divot the size of a palm on one of my cheeks. Now I don't want anyone to see my butt when I'm naked, because it’s misshapen and it kind of dips in weird places. I’m scared because I'm in my early 30s and I’ve already seen examples of how fat is going to affect my butt. I have no idea what it’s going to look like when I’m older.