The Worst Sex Positions, According To Reddit

Photographed by Lula Hyers.
Are you meh on missionary? Down on doggy? Want to eighty-six 69? There are so many sex positions out there, so it makes sense that most of us have at least one or two that we’re just not that into. Whether these positions are on your “no, never” list or you take more of a “once in while, if my partner really wants to” approach, you’re not alone.
The main thing I took away from researching this article is that everyone’s different. One person's fave move was another person's between-the-sheets nightmare. The only way to know what sex positions you and your partner both love is to talk about it, and to experiment to help you discover things you both enjoy, or find ways to adjust positions one of you is lukewarm about. (You might find that using a sex pillow can make all the difference, for instance.)
Advertisement
Keep in mind that the sex positions you see in porn might not actually correspond to what people enjoy in real life. For example, reverse cowgirl is a go-to in porn because it’s so visual, but only 7.7% of Americans actually fantasize about having sex in that position. As one reverse cowgirl-hater put it on Reddit, “When I was younger I saw it frequently in NSFW videos and that prompted me to give it a try, and it is *awful*!... This position is how dicks get broken.”
Below, the worst sex positions ever, according to Reddit:

Reverse Cowgirl

“It feels like he's pounding my colon. All I can think about the whole time is not pooping. And just to make it worse you end up staring at his very unsexy feet and thinking about how he needs to cut his toenails and treat his athlete’s foot.” (via Reddit)

69

“It's just too busy. I can't focus on what I'm doing and I can't focus on what is being done to me. Plus sometimes it smells like ass.” (via Reddit)

Cowgirl

“When myself and most women ride, we want to GRIND. It's a great position for direct clitoral stimulation. Basically we're scissoring/tribbing his crotch — feels amazing. However, men want us to hop up and down, which does nothing for me. If I wanted deep penetration of that sort, I'd rather you f*** me from the back while we're laying on our sides (my personal fave PIV position). So eh. I prefer  ‘riding’ women.” (via Reddit)
Advertisement

Missionary

“Holding the half pushup the whole time, it's strenuous. After a few minutes I gotta switch to on my knees her legs in the air, then doggy for the finish.” (via Reddit)

Scissoring

“My girlfriend and I tried scissoring for fun recently… we watched a porn and tried to copy it, and it wasn't very successful sexually, but was hilarious. I'm sure some people out there do it and like it, but I don't think it is common. We do lots of tribbing and rubbing our pussies on the other person's ass, thigh, whatever works. Lesbian porn is so unrealistic in general that it is laughable.” (via Reddit)

Doggy Style

“I like face-to-face interaction and it feels detached from the moment.” (via Reddit)

Spooning

“My girlfriend loves it, so we do it from time to time, but it's really difficult for me to thrust while lying on my side.” (via Reddit)

Standing Sex

“That up-against-a-wall shit you see in movies where a guy picks up a girl by her thighs and just starts going to town on her. First of all, people are f***ing heavy. And holding a person on your biceps for more than five minutes is rough. It's hard to get any kind of momentum going because the height you're holding them has to be just low enough to be level with your crotch, but just high enough to where your partner is physically off the ground. It's like stopping in a curl half way through, holding it there for minimum 10 minutes, and humping the entire time. ” (via Reddit)
You'll notice that this list contains... pretty much every sex position you can think of. While your most hated position is probably on here, your most favourite might be, too. Again, it's all individual, so if you're a reverse cowgirl fan, you don't have to give it up — just don't automatically assume your partner will love it, too.
Advertisement

More from Sex & Relationships