Twenty years before Timothée Chalamet got intimate with a peach in Call Me By Your Name, American Pie introduced a generation of horny teens to the concept of masturbating with food. Just as the title indicates, American Pie features a scene showing a character masturbating with, well, a pie. After his best friend tells him that third base (aka fingering) feels like a warm apple pie, lead character Jim (Jason Biggs) finds the freshly-baked pastry in his kitchen and decides to give it a go.
The gooey insides feel so good that Jim's finger isn’t all he puts in the pie, and his father walks in on him moaning with his pants around his ankles. “We’ll just tell your mother that we ate it all,” Jim’s dad says, surveying the ruined pie.
Pies and peaches aren’t the only foods that horny teens, whether fictional or real, have masturbated with. There’s cucumbers, cantaloupe, and of course, grapefruit (as in the technique seen in Girls Trip). To honour the anniversary of American Pie, here are some foods people have masturbated with. Don’t try this at home — or maybe do!
American Pie inspired horny teens everywhere to give this a try. Apple isn’t the only flavour option here — another popular pick is cherry.
Fun story: I ate a delicious peach while on vacation in Italy with my mom and told her, “Now I know how Elio feels.” Then I had to explain the peach masturbation scene in Call Me By Your Name.
As seen in Girls Trip (and in a viral YouTube video before it), “grapefruiting” involves microwaving a grapefruit and using it as an accessory during a blowjob. It would also work for masturbation or a handjob, but be careful of that citric acid.
A cantaloupe, or really any kind of melon, works similar to the grapefruit technique: simply cut a hole in it and go to town.
Same idea here — cut a hole in the top and go to town. One Redditor left a very detailed post describing his coconut masturbation experience. Let's say that you should only use the coconut once, because the flies will find it.
This fruit works as a masturbation tool for either penises or vaginas — it all depends on whether you take the banana out of the peel.
Cucumber might be the most phallic vegetable, and I feel like every high school has a rumour about a girl who masturbated with a cucumber, right?
If cucumbers are too mainstream, a carrot also does the trick.
Pies might not be the best kind of baked good to masturbate with — donuts with a hole are already in the right shape.