Tonight, the federal party leaders will take the stage for the first and only English-language debate featuring all six candidates. With just two weeks to election day and the Conservatives and the Liberals running neck and neck, the stakes couldn’t be higher. Which means we can expect a mature and civilized discourse on the issues that matter to Canadian voters.
Oh, who are we kidding? It’s going to be 120 minutes of uninterrupted mud-slinging and misdirection, where pageantry trumps policy and the word hypocrite is thrown around like a radioactive hot potato. Still planning to tune in? Pick your poison (sips, tokes, righteous sighs of indignation) and play along. (Ed. note: Please drink responsibly and pace yourself: We still have two weeks until the election.)
Every time Justin Trudeau references Doug Ford
Flicking at the premier of Ontario — his record, his social conservatism, his overall shadiness — has been one of the Liberals’ most frequent strategies, most likely because they need a bogeyman to scare potential NDP-leaning progressives into voting Red and Andrew Scheer isn’t well-known enough.
Every time NDP Leader Jagmeet Singh references regular folk
…a single mom in Charlottetown, a disheartened factory worker in Fredericton. Pushing his man-of-the-people status was Singh’s standout move at the last English-language debate.
Every time Andrew Scheer references Justin Trudeau
The PC leader’s superpower may be the ability to pivot from questions about…well…anything to a condemnation of Trudeau’s record. Take two swigs if/when he welcomes JT (who skipped the first English-speaking debate) with a “nice of you to show up this time” zinger. Three if he asks which airplane he came on.
Every time Elizabeth May makes an appeal to millennial voters
Man, there have been a lot of scandals since the last debate.
Every time Singh plays the integrity card
Every time you wonder whether Scheer lying about being an insurance broker is the most boring political scandal since the dawn of time.
Couldn’t he have lied about being an astronaut?
Every time Trudeau says um
Every time Trudeau uses the word “values”
Nailing Scheer on his personal stances on reproductive rights and LGBTQIA+ issues was a key part of the Liberals’ French debate strategy. Take two swigs if he references Scheer’s no-show at Pride parades or at last month’s climate-strike march.
Because it’s 2019. EYE ROLL.
Every time Scheer does that slightly exasperated but patient nod to imply he’s the only adult in the room
Even though…wait for it…he’s younger than Trudeau.
Every time Scheer comes off looking moderate thanks to Maxime Bernier
Every time you wonder who that other guy is.