As a single woman, I get asked a lot of intrusive questions about my love life. "Have you tried dating apps?" (Yes. Every single one.) "Have you considered moving out of a major city? It might be easier." (Considering my job and friends are here, I'm not going to uproot myself to maybe land a man.) "Don't you worry about having kids one day?" (Thanks for reducing me to my womb, pal.)
And while all of these are terrible, awful, no-good inquiries, there is one that bothers me more than the rest: "Why are you single?" It's a ridiculous question to ask a person — right up there with, "How are you still single?" It's like asking a person why they're not taller, or why they were born with brown eyes. I'm not sure why I'm single. If I knew, I might not be single anymore.
And honestly, have you ever heard someone ask coupled-up people why they're coupled-up? Probably not, because why would someone ask such a nonsense small-talk question?
But because I thrive in nonsense, I decided to spend a week asking coupled-up folk why they aren't single. I had some rules for this, though. Since I consider this a rude question that would inevitably lead to the person telling me to fuck off, I'd only ask people who I didn't already intimately know. No badgering my friends and fam about their duo status. (You're welcome, guys.)